The Sim-ilar Archive Of Every Double Ganger

Chapter 8

I woke up and thought I was back home. I thought I heard cows. I thought I smelled the distinct smell that you would only find in my house. It was a mixture of all of us.
I wonder how it is now that I am gone.

I opened my eyes and I realised that I was in a dingy room with the spiders as company.
My head had tricked me again. I do not know why a part of me always wanted to stay there.

But I knew for sure than most of my parts wanted nothing to do with it.

I would talk about my family. I would. Because frankly they are not part of the problem.

But they are a part of the world I am trying to run away from.

And it will only make me doubt everything.
So I get up and get to my morning routine.
I had been doing it for as long as I can remember. There was not much discipline in my village.

So I had to keep some rules for my self.
Like I cannot talk to anyone  with out brushing my teeth. The stench was too much for me. I couldn’t even start to think of how bad it would be for others.

I cleaned up and went outside. The second I cracked the door open with the threatening creak I was met with extreme sunlight.

I had become accustomed to the darkness in the room. I think we always find a way to get accustomed. Especially, to darkness.
I went down for breakfast and said hello to my idlis.  They would not be to the level of my grandmother’s idlis. But they would do.
Some thing familiar in a place full of empty faces.

Once I was done eating I went to the bus stand.

Today was the day. I had to make this count. If I messed it up today, I might as well go back admitting my loss in the tournament.
I pulled out my phone. It was not top quality. Nokia. Not much expected out of it. But it was not nothing. I had chosen to leave all my gadgets back home.

Those things were dirt. I was ashamed I even used them.

So I had no choice but to go to a cyber cafe.
I had noticed some around the city. I walked around till I found one.

Unfortunately, I had to make my account. I wanted to leave my presence in as few places as possible. But there was no substitute for this.

Only if I had my laptop.

No. It was not mine. It was an attempt at buying me. And my silence.
I made my account and walked in. I sat on the farthest desk and switched the laptop on.

With the windows tune came instant comfort. As long as the internet and windows were there for me. I would never be trapped anywhere.

I had a quick Facebook search pending. I went on and looked for her.

Up came her face, very much like my own. I still did a double check every time I saw her face. It never stopped being weird.
I went on to her timeline and saw in a tagged post of three months back. Family time at home sweet home.

As much as I love the internet. I never will get over how gullible it has made people. How can you so easily pin point the location of your house and let any body who wants to see it get access?

It pained me to know that Inet could impact someone like that. Because to me the internet is salvation. I do not want a believe that the internet could cause me any hard.
Because if I lose that.

Then I don’t have anything.
But well I still have it. Don’t have to think about anything till I absolutely have to.

Her house was a flat somewhere lost in the immensity of the township.

Locating her there, would be like looking for an insect amidst our fields.

But I was convinced she would go somewhere or the other. I had a feeling which I couldn't explain.

And this was all the work I had planned for now.

Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.

It was about noon when she finally showed up. She sat in a car and shot right out .
But hey. I hadn’t planned on how to follow her. I thought I would figure it out.

But my on the spot is not good.

I tried running behind the car. It wasn’t the optimal solution, but what else could I do.
And even though running is the one thing I am alright at, I still couldn’t compete with a car.

So wasted.

One day wasted. I couldn’t believe I did this
I do not have a day to waste. I can not do this. She’s gone now and I’m still here.
If I’m late. If I’m too late, they will come. And when they do. I’ll be dead.

I will be lying in a ditch. Found after days. With my face torn away. Too far from recognition.

Too far from any of this.

I saw myself lying there. And I cursed.
I never cursed. But right then I did.
This would not work if I was so reckless. This takes utmost planning.

I told my brain  that if I don’t take it seriously I would have to go back home.
That thought made me fight this frustration.

Going home again was not an option. It was never an option.

I knew for years that one day I would either have to run away or commit suicide. And till I don’t try running I won’t resort to that.
It was a reality I dealt with. Fully practical. If I wanted to be happy I would have to go.
If I stayed there? I would suffocate till I formed tears in my lungs and lose all the air I had.

Just when things were getting dark in my head, her car neared. And I decided that whatever happened, tomorrow I would talk to her.

It was one day wasted. And I didn't have time.

I didn't know how long it would take for them to catch up to me.

And frankly,

I didn't want to.