The Sim-ilar Archive Of Every Double Ganger

Chapter 2

Every day of my life was a new play. A new act. What happens is. As a child you just make some decisions. And for no rhyme or reason to defend you. Hell, they aren’t even decisions. They are just things you end up doing on your way towards adulthood. You just do it. I have not figured out why. But I will update you when I do.

Because if I had to choose now, I don’t think I would choose to stick with the crowd I stick to in school. There was a time a few years ago , when I just sort of woke up. And the girl who woke up didn’t want to spend all her time worrying about the paper things in life. The things so fragile and insignificant they’d crumble like Puran Poli*  if you aren’t careful. Why couldn’t I worry about my existence instead? Or about what I was to do in my life?

Because here’s the thing, if I had to choose right now, I don’t know if I would choose Vedika. And that honestly worries me.
I mean, she’s my best friend. I mean fine, AssHat Simran From The Past chose to be friends with her. And most of the time, I don’t agree to her decisions. But your best friend is still your best friend. Like maybe when we hang out all we talk about is who’s dating who, but when I am with her at least I feel like the kind of person who would care about stupid stuff like ask.fm questions.

And may be that is an excuse. Maybe I am just too comfortable with what’s happening. Maybe I’m too scared to try again, because honestly I haven’t made new friends since the first grade. Or maybe I’m still there because of Vedika. I’ve heard friendships evolve. They go from play dates to sleepovers to talking under the stars at three a.m about why we as humans feel the urge to believe in things. And ours will too. I have to believe in that.
But the thing is. All of these reasons mean that I have to spend every minute of my day with them, pretending I am somebody I used to be. I don’t know why I do it. Honestly it is tiring. Sometimes I go home and take a nap from just how exhausting this is.

Okay so I just spent like a long time ranting about how deep and philosophical I am. I am, I really am. But for you to understand who I am, you need to know how much of a paradox I am. I mean when I am alone I am this person and it is true that I don’t like talking about boys and make up all the time. But some of the silliness of AssHat Simran Of The Past had kind of seeped into my permanent personality. So I can be just as stupid as deep.

Alright I have successfully managed to confuse the living hell out of you. Well that’s me, confused.

But that particular day as I walked up to Vedika with her piri piri fries, I felt like I’d rather be anywhere than be here.

The Glorious List Of Places I Would Rather Be-:
1) On the rooftop of a cafe in Paris overlooking the streets
2) Drowned in the orange light. Orange Trees. Orange World. Orange Me.
3) Perched on my window, with a book in my hand, with the rain as my playlist.

But that’s what you do. That’s what normal people who are not so completely weird do. They sit through the things they don’t want to do. They don’t have mood swings come up every other minute.

So I sat there. I sat there with Vedika and listened to the monologue she had, prepared for me. I sat there and heard the life of the star crossed lovers KaranAndNaomi.

And as the hour went by, I almost believed it. I almost believed that, that Facebook meme was the most important thing to happen to me all day. I almost believed I was made of paper. Not glass, not even plastic. But paper.

Because I may be confused. I may not know who I am. But one thing I knew for sure.
I was a liar. Such a good one, that on most days even I would believe it.

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Author's Note:
Hello guys!
I started writing this book because for one I am a huge YA book fan. I've been reading as much as I could, for years. And suddenly I realised that I had not come across even one book I'd like to read, which was set in India. We lack rational books of characters that we can relate to.
So I'm trying to write a book that I would want to read.
I hope you like it. This is going to be quite a journey. And I would love to have you'll on it. Thank You so much for reading.

Let me know if you also feel something like this? Tell me where I should improve. Because I would love to receive some input about my work. Thank you so much!