Your past does not defined you

Finding hope

Lilly:
     "Please don't, stop, it hurts," I cried, begging him to stop as he kept forcing himself inside of me, a grin plastered onto his face as he watched me cry out in pain, clawing desperately at the sheets.

      My name is Lilly Santiago, and I am going to tell you my story and how you can overcome the hard blocks in your life. This scene, I remember it like it was yesterday. May 9th 2006, this little girl who was just 5 years old was raped by her 16 years old cousin.

    No one believed her when she told them that he raped her, not even her grandmother. Both her parents died when she was 3 years old in a car accident. This little girl with dark brown hair, fading hazel eyes, and porcelain skin.

Early that day

    "Hurry up and get dress Lilly we have to go", screamed Ms. Santiago. That's what everyone call's her but I call her grandma.

    "Ok grandma", I answered back to her.

     It was May 9 2006, it was my 5th birthday, I was now 5 years old and grandma was taking me to the beach for my birthday.

     She invited my cousins and our family, well what we had left for a family. Which was my aunty Kim, aunty Kelly, uncle Sam and uncle Alex. Then my cousins, Jason, Pat, Michael, and the twins San and Sandy.

     All my cousins were all older than me. Jason was 16, blond hair with blue eyes, slim, and very tall for his age.

       Pat was 9, dark brown hair like mine, with brown eyes, very short and pale skin. Michael was the oldest. He was 18, black hair with gray eyes,  he had a deep voice, and was tall tall, he was very thick like the trunk of a tree.

     Grandma says he works out a lot that's why he looks like a big tree trunk, I always thought he just ate alot.

      San and Sandy were identical twins so they looked exactly the same; both with blond hair blue eyes and tall bodies. They were both ten years old. I could tell them apart because San loved to climb trees and catch bugs while Sandy was girly, she loved pink and playing with dolls and all.

      I was more like San, enjoying to climb trees, catch bugs, and play in the mud. Although, when ever I did these things grandma would lose her head. It was almost as if steam was coming out of her ears and her face became very red like a stove top when it's was turned on. San was my best friend and favorite cousin.

I put on my black bathing suit and my purple dress over it, rushed out of the room, and out in the front yard when I saw Jason pushing Pat from beside him. "Move now, stupid!", Jason yelled at Pat as he pushed her out of the car

    "Why do you have to be so mean?" Pat scream at him, running towards aunty Kim and her dad uncle sam.

    "You should be nice to your sister" aunty Kim scolded.

    "Why the hell do you have to be such a dick?", Michael said as more of a statement than an actual question. He pushes Jason to get to the back of the car.

     "Hey watch your language, young man", said a voice from behind me. It was grandma holding a big bag with little treats and fruit on it. She glanced at me and smiled.

     I rushed into the car and sat beside Jason as he turned and looked at me "you look pretty, happy birthday", he said kissing me on the cheek".

     I took a deep breath, this was the first Jason was nice to me, not even at my past birthdays he was this nice. "Thank you", I whispered and blush. "Why you being so nice to her", said San looking at Jason with a nasty look, if looks could kill he would be dead. He turned away and took out his iPad, pug in his head phone into his ears and close his eyes.

    " Happy birthday Lilly", San said and gave me a big hug, I smiled at her has she force herself in between me and Jason and sit down. " I thought you were driving with uncle Alex and aunty Kelly", I asked she gave me the same look she gave Jason and I held down my head.

    We all got ready and drove of to the beach. It was so much fun,Jason stick close to me and was being so nice that  it cause him and Michael to fight. For the whole day San did not talk to me, I was not sure what was happening but I was not going to let that spoil my fun.

     Finally we got home I was so tired, I just wanted to sleep so I took a shower got dress in my firefly dress and went to bed.

     Everyone was sleeping over and then they would leave in the morning to go home. Aunty Kelly, uncle Alex, Michael, San and Sandy lived in Cuba so it was a long ride back. Uncle Sam, aunty Kim, Pat and Jason lived in New York and me and grandma lived in new Jersey we were close to uncle Sam, aunty Kim, Pat and Jason so they would come over often to visit.

   Creep my bedroom door open, I jumped up to find Jason standing in the door jam. "Jason", I whispered rubbing my eyes he puts his finger over his lips so I knew he did not want me to make a sound so remain quite.

     I jumped out of bed and walked to wards him still rubbing my eyes. He close the door behind him, he walked towards me, " do you love me Lilly", he asked me. " Yes I do we are family", I answered tilling my head to the side with a sleepy smile. He picked me up and place me on the bed. He took of his t-shirt " what are you doing Jason", I said pulling away from his grip on my waist. He place his lips on mine, I push him in the chest and started to wiggle around in his hold.

     I bit him on his lips buying me time to slid out of his hands, I fell to the floor, I race to my door. I try to turn the knob but it would not open the door.

    "Come here my sweet Lilly, you have been a bad girl", Jason calls at me slowly getting up off the bed. " Ja-son please", my voice break has I try to say his name. Tears started to gather in my eyes has I still try to open the door.

     "Aaaaaw", I screamed Jason pulled my hair letting me fall to the ground. He pulled me by my hair to the bed. He started to rip of my dress. "Finally" ,he said " you are all mine my sweet play toy". I started to cry he takes off his pants " please Jason think about this please", I put my hands together and begged him. He slaps me across my face "Say you want me! Say it!", he yelled at me.

    "I want it", I whispered has my body start to shake. He pulls me close to him, and force himself in side of me I strength out my hands and grab on to my bed sheets he place one of his hand around my waist and pull me into him more for him to get better access.

    "please don't, stop it hurts", I cried begging him to stop, has he keeps forcing himself inside me. With a grin on his face has he enjoys watching me cry out in pain and pull on my sheet with my hand. He brushes my hair from my face and kiss my forehead then my neck.

       "Say my name Lilly, say my name", he whispered in to my neck has he began to speed up.

      "Jason, Jason, Jason, Jason!!!!", I screamed out grabbing on to his shoulder has tears run down my face. We went on like this for a well untill he finally pulls out of me.

     He gets up and kisses me on the head " you were wonderful and everything I wanted", he told me has he walked away leaving me naked, crying in blood on my bed.