∞ | with love, tara

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It starts on the day when you're going to propose her.

You know she would definitely say a no but you don't really care because you love her. Like the moon loves the stars. But there's a hidden hope in you... that she might say yes. Because she loves you more than anyone else.

You know she's late, but you cannot figure out why. That's the time when your pessimism gets a better hold of yourself, and you start thinking. Too much that you cannot keep a pace with your thoughts.

You hope she's okay. But you've a gut-wrenching feeling that it's not okay, that it's not constant. And when your phone rings you know whats wrong.

And you wish it wasn't that way.

After all it has always been zero or hundred for you two. All or nothing.

And maybe nothing was always yours.


•••

The sky is in an erratic mixture of oranges and reds, much like the increased pace of his heart. He tries to stay calm amidst the crowd which cheers for him in sheer joy and happiness. It is his first victory in an overseas series as a captain, and no one could be less proud to see the man of the series standing in front of him.

The beats of his heart relaxes when the guards escort him to the car. He takes of the sunglasses off his face, as he gets inside the car. He looks younger and better without them, his eyes reflecting an unmounted passion of love and longing. He was going to see her after such a long time.

Tara...

He realizes that love is only intensified by absence. Instructing the driver about his destination to which the driver gives him a quizzical look but silently agrees, he turns on the radio, and tries to relax the blockade in his head.

It was the time to fulfil his promise. To let go.

It's not a long drive, but to Virat, it feels like forever. Forever his heart has been igniting in the fire of hope, that it has begin to hurt now. He begins to reminisce all the memories of her which had unfolded in the last five years, and they're almost so tangible that he can feel them digging and clawing right through his skin - the bittersweet memories.

When they reach his destination, he doesn't say anything to the driver because that might end up with him in tears. He doesn't want to cry while going for the sake of fulfiling his promise to Tara - who had made him what he was today. A man made of stars and diamonds and gold.

The walk to the hospital ward is excruciating painful for him. At every step, he feels a dagger being stabbed right through his feet, and he's at the edge of crying. When he reaches the door, he sees that the room is empty - maybe her dad had decided to leave them alone so that he could get the closure.

His eyes begin to moisten when he realizes it's just him and her. Nothing else in the world matters, just like it was three years ago. He's scared to walk closer to her, scared that he might wake her up before breaking her... before letting her go. But eventually, he forcefully drags his feet across the floor to take a seat beside her. He sits down beside her, on the bed, and gathers all the courage to look at her.

The stars residing in her eyes aren't visible right now just the way he had left her, nothing had really changed in her. He wants to forget the memories of the past three years and wants to be selfish and remember the good ones. When they were in love - in the car, in the party, on the hot air balloon, under the blanket of the night sky.

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