A Lot Like Moon & Stars | ✓

07 | thuban

vii.

T H U B A N » lethal gaze & breath

I promised myself I wouldn't fall for her.

But our relationship was a heartworm, I couldn't get it out of my head. I thought that maybe staying away from her would fade away my feelings. But somehow these feelings were still raw, alive, and unfinished - just like an abandoned campsite who's smoldering embers still have the power to run a forest on fire.

"All of us are made of stardust," Tara says, making my heart waver. Tipping my head back, I looked up the stars. They were so, so, so beautiful, their startling brightness leaving us to laugh breathlessly into the night. "Like, our bodies are made of remnants of stars, and massive galactic explosions." she continues, resting her head on my shoulder.

I close my eyes, jutting my chin out at the city skyline. "What's your point?" I ask her pointedly.

"That some people are meant for each other. That maybe some people don't find each other by chance, or by accident - or what you call it... serendipity. But you meet them because at some point, you both were part of the same star." she smiles, "This way I can meet the dead, ha."

"Don't say that. Don't you ever say that again." I warn her in a treacherous voice, and she merely nods. "I'm sorry for the tone -"

"- no, it's okay -"

"- it's not, Tara. You know, all my life people have kind of seen people seen me in a certain way... and I don't want them to see me in that way." I begin, realizing that my sentences are incomprehensible. For anybody. "I'm sorry, I know it's hard to make you understand -"

"- no Virat, I get it." Tara says with a slight nod in my direction. "Some people like to show off their beauty because they want the world to see it, and others... Others try to hide their beauty because they want the world to see something else."

I can only smile at her words. "So what do you see in me?"

"Everything, Virat. Everything."

-

Right now it's 4 a.m. We are laughing just so hard, whispering the most juvenile confessions to each other, as we lie side by side, our bodies pressed together. For the first time in a very long time, I feel really alive, and for that I already know, there's no more reason denying it - I'm screwed.

I knew from the beginning that I will fall for her. All the fucking time.

"There's something I've been meaning to tell you, Virat." she says, her voice barely a whisper. I stare at her intently, preparing myself for her most juvenile confessions. But instead of her voice, Taylor Swift's voice is all I can grasp.

'Cause I can't help it if you look like an angel.

"What? Sorry. I couldn't catch that, Tara." I chuckle.

"No. It's nothing." Tara shook her head from side to side, eyes tightly shut. "No, never mind."

"No, you were telling me something. I'm listening now." I grapsed my fingers around her wrist, making her flinch. "Oh, sorry."

"It's okay." she heaved a sigh.

Maybe Tara wanted was trying to tell me something then.