Sometimes The Person You Don't Want Turns Out To Be The Person You Need (Camren)

4/4

She has taken to obsessing over her junior high year books, anxious to find Lauren in those year books but every year when she manages to find the name Lauren Jauregui, it was usually accompanied by a blank space with a note at the bottom stating that the girl as absent. This persisted until the last year of high school, Lauren boring her eyes into the camera, finger hanging from her pocket, other hand playing with her lighter. Camila wonders about their stint in junior high and blanches at the thought of being in the group of students that assisted in the bullying.

It was Vero that sets things straight for her, the girl staring over her shoulder at what she was searching through for the umpteenth time, a quizzical expression making it on her face before guilt set in.

"Oh. I totally forgot about Cooties Jauregui."

Camila snaps her head to the side, the nickname sounding familiar in her head. "What?"

Vero shuffles uncomfortably. "In junior high, remember? Jauregui was the quiet one in the corner of the classroom with thick glasses and catholic high school fashion sense."

It jolts Camila's memory and she winces because she remembers how cruel she had been to that one girl in school, drinks were thrown on her on several occasions before shunning and whispering loudly whenever the girl passed by them. It all stopped the day that Lauren Jauregui stepped into the class with ripped jeans and an attitude to match, shooting down the first boy to have seen her and asked whether she went for plastic surgery over the summer. Camila remembers the way that the boy had all but run away crying, Lauren pulling out a packet of cigarettes while making her way to her seat by the window, not a single glance was given to the rest of her gaping classmates.

"We were cruel then. Always wanted to apologize to her but I never had the courage to go up to her."

The two of them caught up to the dark haired girl sitting on a bench the next day, apologizing for everything they had done, Camila more so than Vero, hoping that her unspoken apology would be heard.

The both of them were crushed by the girl's lack of empathy.

"Are you apologizing because you're genuinely sorry? Or because you want to make yourself feel better?"

The both of them had no words to retort with, merely staring at the dark haired girl. Lauren nodded and stood up from her seat, waving an indolent hand above her head as she walked away.

*

They never interacted again after that, their guilt filled meeting with Lauren seemed to have crossed some sort of line that Lauren had placed between them after the debacle of sleeping with Vero while she was kind of, sort of with Lauren. Camila would see the dark haired girl going to class, smoke break before heading to a downtown club, leaving as soon as Camilal showed up, a willing partner hanging off her hands. It makes Camila feels all sorts of weird feelings, the girl sitting at the table, taking shot after shot before heading back to the dorm for some messy, drunken sex with Vero.

It was at the end of their four year stint that Camila and Vero finally broke up, both realizing that as good as the sex was, they were better off as friends. Also, as Vero put it, because Camila was probably a lot in love with Lauren, the girl staring at her in disbelief before smacking herself on the head.

Camila cannot believe that it took her four years and messed up relationships and encounters to figure the burning feeling in her chest every time she kissed Vero and felt like she was cheating. She can't believe that she mistook love for frustration and dismissed the feeling of bright green jealousy every time she sees Lauren in the corner of a club with some random making out with her, dark eyes always staring at Camila while mouth was busy with some girl's.