Finding Her

I

Soothe.
A feeling which everyone desires for as much time as they can have it.

It is different for everyone. Different people find different things soothing.

But this is what I find soothing.

It is the feeling you get when you have your head out of the car window, resting against your forearm, and you feel the wind on your face as the car moves.

That is what is soothing for me

So, as we make our way to Dehradun, I have my head out of the car window, the trees and the mountains passing us in a haste. It is said that it is dangerous to have your head out of a moving car, but I don't want to miss the chance of feeling it again. I want to experience the soothing feeling for as long as I can. I don't want the road to end. I don't want to reach the end of the line, because I know, that I will not be able to experience this feeling again.

I never imagined, that I will ever leave Shimla.

But apart from the imaginations that a person ever imagines, I've also learnt that some things are unexpected in your life, and my life, has always been full of unexpected things. In those unexpected things, there are two kinds of unexpected. One, which is a happy one, and two, the unhappy one, the kind which destroys you, kills you.

I don't remember having the first kind...

I wouldn't say that I was happy in Shimla, I don't even remember the last time I was happy, I just hope it was in this life, but I had peace in Shimla. It is definitely a beautiful place, and I love the cold.

The winters made my whole body icy, and for some reason it felt so good. It was as if my whole body was on fire, but actually, it was ice cold. Hard to differentiate if it was the winter which made me cold, or my heart.

I feel a water drop on my face. I open my eyes, and in the next few seconds, the second and the third water drop became the uncountable drops.

It is raining.

I feel a smile creep on my face, and I adjust myself so that a little more of my head is out of the car window. The drops hit me on my face with force, and my mom's voice breaks the communication between the drops and me.

"Kyra! Get inside!" She says pulling me in and rolling the window up by the automatic controller beside her, which giver her access to all the windows of the car, which is, I think, very unfair.

"Mom, calm down. It's just rain. We're still not in the time when radioactive liquid will pour down the clouds, you know."

She gives me a look.

"Ever heard of unseasonal rain?" She says, "Those are dangerous, and you know how common it has become nowadays! No one is concerned about the environment these days..." and she goes on and on about environment protection and people contributing to pollution.

"Wait a minute, wait a minute! You're driving a car right now, in the middle of thousands of trees, so who's contributing to pollution now?" I say to her and I get the look again, but this time, it is followed by a little smile.

"So tell me baby, what have you got planned for the new place" Mom asks me in a very excited tone.

For her, it is a very exciting thing, but for me, I'm not so sure. I still haven't been able to put this change of my life into the unexpected one, or the unexpected two category.

"I don't know," I say, "But I think I will, soon."

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