Once again my heart has easily managed to involve itself in a inderously situation that always found it self in a pile of brocken dirty plates. Sadly, it was, as always the odd one out-unbroken and freshly clean.
Things change ,people change, technology keeps changing. What ever stopped growing? What doesn't grow? Your heart. My heart. His. Hers. Theirs. Ours. It doesn't grow. Funny isn't it? It seems unfair how time doesn't wait for you or how things doesn't go as plan. That's life.
If your life is perfect; you are living in a fictional, predictable myth life that draws you to false accusations of imaginative scenarios. Wake up and be real. Nothing is perfect. Even a latest newest phone is not perfect. It makes crimes that aren't purposeful supposed to happen like autocorrect. Crazy isn't it. Capturing moments that will haunt you in a regretfully moment.
That is of course depending on who was once a worthy capturing moment in your life.
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There it is once again. My erratic beat against my heart. It pains me; how much l seem not to give up. What is there to give up on?
Love. That's what.
What is love? It's pain in need of cure. Sharply pricks ,thorns of a rose. Has it ever been gentle?No. It's too rough,too harsh and it pricks like thorn.
It's feather ,a light feature in a midst of roses. A dare. A test that doesn't result up to a hundred percentage like a maths test. No. It's an endless digit with no direction that holds no instructions.
Yes,a mystery. That's what.
What else would you call something that hurts so much that you tremble like autumn wind but yet at the same time makes you feel beautiful,so special you treat it like glass on the edge of a counter about to break like a shattered brocken plate.
Yes. A shattered brocken plate. But no,not like always. I watch it ,listening and moving along it's erratic beat. Yet, still,so preciously still. So calm it's scaring and abructigly mesmerising at once. Like race -running but not being chased. What nightmare chases in delight?
"Jessica," he'd whispered. So soft and tender like the taste of bitter wine on the tip of my tongue.
"Alex?" I'd rassped out; faintly like a delinquent.
He'd grabbed a strand of my dimly brown hair, and he'd twist it in his rough index finger . It had became a routine. Our routine. But as l stood against my locker across from him, from her. Alex. Rebecca. I stood with my back faced to them. I stood and waited looking down at the freshly cleaned tiled floors. I saw it. Still there; fresh and unbroken.
There-oddly in a pile of brocken dirty plates. My heart lay. Untouched and in one piece.
I did it once again. I fixed once again.
But as l turned my head away and made my way at the school entrance; it shattered .
It became a brocken dirty plate like the rest of the old piles. But sadly this time, my tears weren't strong enough to wash it clean. It wasn't odd anymore. It was even.
"Alex," l would say ,my blue eyes glistening of tortured bliss. I'd plead, "Allow me,this once to go. Set me free Alex. Unchain my heart from yours so l can run."
Far far away, l'd begged.
"Jessica. My Jessica. Be my Jes sica and l will be your Alexander. Make a lock to my heart that you can only open. "
"Alexander. My Alexander, come free me dear. Don't leave me chained.l need to leave before l break like that vase you broke last summer. Give me my freedom ,to let me go. It's unfair.
How can you move on when l can't?
Unlock me and maybe, just maybe l will give you the password to your heart that l locked it with.
Let me be free and l will let you unleash out of the lock.
Let's be even. My heart is, is yours even Alexander ? Mine, my Alexander. Is it? Let's be even ,l beg. I want to be free. Let's be free ,Alexander."
