Scars To Your Beautiful

Can't Help Falling in Love

Astrid has been dreading this day. Yesterday April asked her if she would tag along for Valentine's Day shopping. She personally isn't a fan of the love day but she just couldn't say no to her best friend. Supposedly whatever she's shopping for is for Chris. She could guess what the gift might be but decided not to bother. She puts her earbuds in and turns on her music, listening to the album Vessel by Twenty One Pilots, one of her favourite bands to listen to. She stood outside on her front porch waiting for April to arrive when a vivid memory instantly came to her mind.

The sun was going down, the wind was steady and temperature was fair. Astrid looked out into the lake where her mother sat alone on the dock by the water. She was worried and curious at the same time. She walked down the stairs and made her way over to the dock. It took her some time but not too long. Luckily she didn't run into any garden snakes. Finally she reached her mother. She didn't even budge. She cocked her head, "Mamá?" Valentina turned her head and smiled at the sight of her beautiful daughter. "Hello Mija. Sit, sit!" And so Astrid did. She sat down and she had an unsettling feeling in her stomach, like butterflies. Like her mother was about to say something really bad. She cleared her throat, "Mom, what's-" Valentina put a finger on her daughter's lips, cutting her off. "A beautiful view like this deserves silence." She turned back to see the sun look as if it is sinking to the bottom of the Earth. It was a beautiful view to be seen. The sun, the reflecting water and the trees all around. Astrid took it all in and eventually a smile was made. She took a deep breath and relaxed into the calming moment. She didn't know why her mom was sitting here, she didn't know why it had to be quiet, and she didn't know the purpose of all of this, but she was happy. She actually did enjoy having this moment with her mother. After some time of much needed silence, she looked at her mom.

"I'm sorry."
Valentina turned as she was quite confused at her daughter's sudden apology. "For what, my sweets?"
"I know that it must be really hard raising a daughter, especially one like me. Excuse my language but I know I can be an ass sometimes. I know I must give you a hard time. I'm sorry. I'm trying to be better. I'm trying to hold it all together for you, I really am. And I promise to start cleaning up my act. I-"
"Astrid. My darling! Please, don't fret. You are nothing but a blessing to me. Having you as my own has brought me nothing but joy to my life. You make my eyes sparkle, you put a spring in my step, and you make my heart dance. You are far from a disturbance. If anything you are a gift, a beautiful one at that."
Astrid started to tear up, "Really, Mom?"
"Of course! Astrid you are my daughter and I love you. What made you think this?"
"I don't know I just...I just feel like I'm a nuisance sometimes and that I cause a lot of problems."
"Give me proof."
"Okay, um, well...last week when I was having a bad day and I came home from school and took it out on you and Papa? That wasn't right. The other day when I refused to do my chores because I wanted to watch TV instead? That wasn't right. When I got into a fight with my teacher because I thought I deserved a better mark? That wasn't right. When I-" Astrid was cut off once again by the power of her fierce Puerto Rican mother as she held up her hand, signalling her to stop.
"Mija, you don't think I was the same way when I was your age? Terrible twos? Talk about terrible tens! I was a bitch when I was your age. I'm surprised your grandmother didn't give me up for adoption!" Astrid laughed. Her mother's humour never failed to make her laugh and smile. "It's okay if you're a bitch because, like they say, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. So be a bitch all you want because quite honestly I take it as a compliment. Oh and by the way you're going to be a big sister so get ready for nine months of bitchiness."

Astrid looked up. It was April and her mom in the car in the driveway. "Get in loser we're going shopping!"