School was quite normal, my life was quite normal. I was having a pretty basic life, until she came.
People made fun of her at school for the way she looked and talked so I started to chat with her and she became my best friend. She called me... "baby", NO ONE HAS EVER DONE THAT! I was more than... happy around her.
Every weekend I spent it with her, I talked every night up to 3 am about everything and nothing. We opened up to each other showing our biggest fears, talking about our wishes for our future and our stupid insecurities. When I told her how stunning I thought she was making her long paragraphs about how she was the most wonderful woman ever, and I die every time I see her... I started realising it was not just a friendship what I wanted.
She was beautiful. Long curly hair with a cute goofy smile and a giggle I am addicted to. That sexy ass accent she showed off and the incredible body... she had. Anyways, I started looking at her differently. I bit my lip every time she touched me and my breathing quickened when she hugged me tight. My heart skipped every time she called me cute names.
I had a beautiful friendship with her obviously hiding my feelings but making them seem like I just loved her a lot.
In my group of friends she and other people were there. Emma, that was her name, was pretty wanted by people once her self esteem started to lift up. This girl called Irma considered her her best friend making the whole situation uncomfortable.
One day I went to school and I was talking to Emma and Irma and giggled over some joke I made and Irma said "hey, stop smiling, it's so ugly. You would really do a favour to the world if you just stopped smiling". I do not know how Emma didn't hear that... I indeed covered my mouth and avoided smiling for about two months after she told me that.
Another day I was again talking to them and she called me ugly, fat and she showed me her middle finger silently so Emma didn't notice. I was broken, every time I got home from school I locked in my room and/or bathroom to cry, I started believing I was actually as ugly as she was saying.
Emma and I were very close and I loved her endlessly and trusted her with all my life so I talked to her about my feelings, I ranted about how horribly Irma was treating me and she started calming me down, as sweet as she always is. I adore her.
The next day I had to stay with some friends to a French class after school and everyone was there Emma, Irma and Mia. I sneaked out of the class like everyone else and was walking down the hallway near the lockers and Irma smacked me against a locker and said "you are a motherfucking faker, you are such a bitch!" I did not understand what was going on, my lips were trembling. She took out her phone and started reading, reading about someone explaining how she made her feel horrible telling her her smile was ugly and she was fat and wait a second... that, that was me.
She finished reading and asked me "sounds familiar?" I was so confused. Emma was besides her standing shut. I turned to her and gave her a look of what the fuck is going on here!? She didn't do anything, her face was all red clearly embarrassed and she seemed suffocated with the situation. She gave her that. She helped her bully me, she betrayed me.
Irma pushed me against the lockers and left with Emma.
I was on the floor and I stayed there for a bit. No teachers were around, everything happened out of school hours so nobody actually cared. I saw Mia and ran to her and told her what happened and ranted about what Irma did as well and Mia said "I won't choose sides" and left.
I went home that day realising I lost my best friend, my friends in general. I cried curling up into a ball, all of this hidden from my parents. The next day I went to school and as I didn't want anyone to think I was alone, I kept walking around during the break times so it seemed like I had something to do, then I went inside the bathroom and ate there sitting on the toilet.
I don't remember well but I believe my relationship with my friends improved obviously with Emma being twofaced. Life was pretty shitty anyways, I attempted talking to my friends but even though Mia and the rest said there were no sides there were clearly sides and they chose... Irma's.
I was missing Emma so much during a night and I got my guitar out and started playing, writing her a song. It was called "beautiful". I called her so excited that night expecting she was going to give me the typical hug the next morning at school like she always did and was going to get happy, however when I finished singing, she hung up.
The next day I went to her and asked her if she liked the song and she said "yeah thanks".
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My memory is quite bad but mum found out, she saw me way too sad and when I tried improving things with the people I thought were still my friends I got slightly happier until I got the call from Irma telling me "I won't ever be your friend, fuck you". I knew that Irma, you didn't have to tell me again.
Things were awkward, I did not trust Emma, I trusted no one, I realised how fake all my friends were. I was in class one day and I was called to the school's psychologist. Irma was there and she was accusing me for bullying. What?! I could not believe that! I then started rambling about all she has done to me and the school started doing a kind of investigation, calling the girls in my group of friends, one by one.
We all did not want any more trouble so we tried to fix it without the school's intervention so we all basically said sorry to each other. Emma and I hugged after she confessed doing what I thought she did, sending screenshots of my conversations with her betraying me. I was so lonely I told her not to worry cause it didn't hurt me... but it obviously did and still does.
We are not friends anymore, I'm not friends with anyone in that group of friends, we got dissolved with time.
