Oblivion

Chains

The rails that happened to be laid out before us called my name, screeching in my ears, beckoning me to them. I felt like a Siren was pulling me in to it’s grasp and right out of reality. It felt mesmerizing, but when I was about to plummet to my certain death on the buzzing metal, Ladik decided to snap me out of my dream.

“Danger has never crossed your path before, eh?” He murmured to me, a teased grin dancing on his face. I turned my head from him and shook my head. I was kept so refined at home that no threat was posed on be aside from my sister-in-law. When I could resume staring at the boy, his features stood out like red ink on your mum’s favourite rug.

His posture was nearly perfect and his cheekbones prominent. The lips that found home on his portrait possessed sharp angles, all of the angelic features coming together to form an extraterrestrial figure.

An expression so soft, yet ready and alert posed on his face while his eyes gazed through my presence and into my soul, a connection so deep and filling that I could feel his orbs on my skin. ‘This is what fate must feel like.’ I concluded in my head, a deeper tone speaking to me that that of what I use. ‘You never knew this, but now you do. Funny what you learn from strangers.’  The words continued to ramble in my head, starting an endless list of what would drive me to insanity later on.

Trains rushed by us as we walked the subway station and I swear that Ladik pretended to push me in the path a few times, a small but terrifying feat that he never really apologized for. When we reached the end of the subway, I turned to him, my bright flowing hair whipping the air arrogantly. I pursed my lips before attempting to speak above the rumbles around us.

“Why was my stone cold?” I spoke, yelling but whispering all at once. I had this question lingering in the confinements of my cranium for quite some time now and was itching to release it, a feeling like a young child who bears a secret and wants to share it. After a few seconds of nothing, oblivion released and my wrist was grasped by a quintet of lightly calloused fingers. Before I knew it, I was being pulled along the stair-well.

I found my feet unwillingly fumbling after the other’s, an easy but complicated movement of hundreds of muscles that never got the message to do their job. It’s like throwing an untrained army of men into a battle that was never theirs to fight; a mistake at that. My cloak fluttered behind me as I was pulled into an alley just outside the tunnel, a black and shadowy area filled with desperation and fulfillment.

“First of all, we don’t speak about our fate while other’s ears are around,” His eyes seethed with fury as his fists grasped my shoulders, pinning my thin frame against the maroon bricks. “Second of all,” He pushed harder. “I am in command here. I don’t care if Fate put us in equal place, you are my inferior at this point and it shall remain that way from here on out,” The curls draping his hairline bounced once, withholding his rage yet still performing in a graceful way. His face deepened as he uttered the last words, “Do you understand?”

I nodded in agreement, an action that stood opposite from my true perspective on the thought. I knew that in order to come out on top in the end, I would have to play along with his cocky and possessive attitude. The thought of it killed me.

I felt like I was 9 years old again. Like Abda was still lurking above me, a so-called superior to my life. As I grew older, I thought that my difference would fade into the background, that it would go away and take it’s hell with it. But now that I was inferior again, I knew that it was all lies. I was never the same as the others.

The list mentioned before continued to flow in my head, telling me that until I could grow some appreciation for my disability, I would have to accept Ladik’s forced love and pull myself together enough to return it. My eyes shut, a sign that I was giving in. I knew that these actions would define my life for the years to come, but I also knew that the reward for doing such was far greater than any freedom. In rash action, I willingly stepped into the shoes of slavery. Only then, I realized that the choice I had made would never help me at all.