Oblivion

Cuffs

I could already feel the metal cuffs pressing into my bronze flesh, a feeling that consisted of odd stinging sensations which could only be described as the lasting effects of humiliation and disappointment. My face twisted in disgust at the thought.

No one will be around to save you this time, child.

The infinite droning started once more, unexpected and rushed this time around.

Not your brother, not your sister-in-law, not your parents.

The soft vibrations ticked my brain, crushing my hopes in it’s wakes. Here I was, being broken by a non-existent presence of my own creation. I officially noted how pathetic I was; I knew that nobody would ever see my struggle nor the pain I faced, but I longed for them to do so. I wished for them to see me unfit for a messenger, I wished for them to yell and me and point out my faults, and most of all, I wished for them to raid me of my name. Not that this mattered, though- Ladik had stripped me of my worth when he stripped me of my rights.

I was snapped out of my haze when a set of smooth fingers gripped my wrist. They were soft yet rough, protective yet possessive, elegant yet clumsy. I couldn’t help but trace my eyes to the face that owned them. It was exactly who I thought it to be.

“Despite your inferior position to me, I will still require help with some tasks.” His hands moved down to lace themselves with my own calloused palms. “For now, though, just stand aside and look happy to be here.” Soon after the words parted his lips, a smile was found planted in their place.

As I walked alongside him, the voice slowly dominated my thoughts, shut down my consciousness until all I was aware of doing was the simple task of placing one foot in front of the other, and fed me questions that I had no answers to. I felt trapped even though I was not, like the kind of limit that an animal at the zoo would experience.

Why don’t you stand up to him? Let everyone else fall while you rise? No one treated you fair before, why should you give them triumph?

I could feel my steps slowing until they stopped. Why was I agreeing to this torture? Why was I giving in to Ladik’s troubled soul? Fire ignited in my chest and with flames comes fury. The stubborn side of me was returning; Insanity had finally given me it’s full weight.

The void surrounding my senses faded to reality, giving chance for my break through. I jerked my arm swiftly out of Ladik’s grip and immediately turned to meet his glance. His eyes weren’t lit up with surprise as I expected, though, but filled with a smug attitude fit for a king. I could tell that he was ready for this before I was, a step that always came with advantage.

I prepared myself for a punch, but when the time came to deliver it, I froze. I was just a cookie that was crumbling under the weight of it’s choices and like every other delicious round in the world, I would crumble more and more until I was no more than a single speck of sugary sweetness. I was far past putting myself back together, but still tumbling dangerously close to filling in the cracks.

The decision I made then took mere seconds in comparison to the time it would take to fulfil it in the future. I was starting anew and it felt great- I just had to take care of the problems that stopped me from doing so first.