Winter Tricks: Lost In Time | Book 1 of Winter Tricks |

Session Four: Not Good Enough

____Session Four____

I got to the Session early today.I walked in with a pair of white skinny jeans,blue converse,and a American flag tank top.

I sat down between Kendra and Jason as we waited for the last two people to arrive.Steve comes in with me.

"Do you want to stay?"I ask him,"You said you wanted to hear some of my stories."He smiles at me.

"Of course."He replies,"If that's alright...?"Sarah nods and gets him a chair.He sits the chair next to me,very close.He sits down and puts his arm on the back on my chair,I lean into him.

"I think Grace should tell her story."Jason suggests.

"Grace always speaks,"Sarah says,"Why don't we let someone else go?"Everyone just shakes their heads.

"C'mon,guys."I say,"It's called a Support Group,not Support Grace."

"Grace,your stories help us."Kendra says,"They are inspiring."

"How so?"I question.

"Things were bad for you,but they got better."Fred explains,"It gives us hope."

"But I lost everything,but Steve, in the end."I reply.

"You still got Steve."Hannah says,"If having your best friend isn't enough to give you hope then I don't what is."

I look up at Steve and smile."Sure,You don't got Bucky."Derek says,"But you have his heart,his love.I've heard the stories.He was in love with till he died.Just because he died,doesn't mean his love did."

I take a breath,trying not to tear up."So I am going first."

"I don't think you have much of choice."Sarah says,smiling.

"What would you like to hear?"I ask the group,laying my head on Steve's shoulder.

"Uh,I have a suggestion."Steve says,"I know when you told me, but when did you tell Bucky about your father?"

"Oh god."I comment."1935,I was 17."

"You told him 3 years before me?"Steve asks.I give him a crooked smile.

"Lucas and Mom were out of town for the weekend,so I stayed at Bucky's place during the day and mine at night."I explain,"It was just him and me in the house that day..."

~

We laid down on the couch.I was on the edge,but Bucky kept his left arm under/around me to keep me from falling.We were face to face,nose touching.

"Tell me,Gracie,"Bucky says,"How is the new life with Lucas?"

"Mom is so much happier."I explain,"She was a little sketchy about having a man in the house since my father."He looked at me,curiously.

"I don't much about your father,"He says,"I'm not gonna make you tell me anything,but I would like to know so I don't cross any lines."

"It's fine."I sigh,"He wasn't the best."

"I won't judge you,"He assures me,"I am best friend,and I am here for you,just let me be here."

"When I was five years old, I played a joke on my father.It was harmless,really,but he didn't think so."I tell him,"He slapped straight across my face. Every time I did something different,played a joke on him,or when I went against his rules..."I let a couple tears fall,Bucky wipes them away with his thumb."He would hit me.It got worse over the years.By the time I was thirteen,he kicked me,punched me,slammed me against furniture,and slapped me."

"What happen to him?"Bucky asks,I look him in the eyes and notice he was crying too.

"I don't know."I admit,"He abandoned us when I was 14,that is why we moved back to Brooklyn."I sniffle,"I should of been relieved,but I wasn't.It was like I wasn't good enough to be his daughter.I wasn't good enough.I won't ever be good enough."

"What are talking about?"He questions,as I sit up.He sits up too,with his back on the arm of the couch and his legs still laying on the couch.I,however,had my feet on the ground,and my head facing the other way.I could make eye contact with him.

"I will never be good enough."I repeat,"Not good enough to be friends with Steve.I am damn sure I'm not good enough for you."

"Hey,hey,"He says,"Look at me."He gently uses his fingers to turn my head towards him.He runs his fingers down my face,affectionally and then tucks my hair behind my ear."You will always be good enough.I don't want to hear you're ' not good enough' come out of your mouth ever,ever again.I think you're perfect for me.I know Steve would choose death if it meant keeping you alive and safe.We care about you."He gives me a short kiss.

"Why did you pick me?"

"For what?"

"To be your friend,and your girlfriend?"I ask,"Why me?"

"Why not?"

~

Everyone smiled."I never realize you felt that way."Steve comments,"I wish you would of told me."

"I do too."I reply.

"I think Bucky really loves you."Sarah comments."You were-are a lucky girl."

"The world needs more people like Bucky and,you,Steve."Derek admits.

"I wish I could of met Bucky."Kendra shares,"It is already a honour to meet Steve.Not just because of the stories of Captain America,but because of these stories.Of course,meeting you,Grace,has probably had the biggest impact on me in life and I've only known you for two weeks.