Join Me In Hell

Everything and Nothing(Viktor )

I hear a voice crying out in the distance,                                                                                                                      perhaps you have been abandoned too?

  Come, let's quickly finish this glass of wine
And I will start to prepare myself
-------taken from Stammi Vicino  Yuri on Ice(English translation)

It hadn't been a true surprise what happened  that last morning at the onsen.     Viktor had talked to Yakov on several occasions and he'd been warned that Celestino might act to take Yuuri back by force.     He didn't blame Yuuri for going without a fight, or for saying what he did.    It was his way of protecting Viktor,  to protect Yukko and her family,  he understood that and there was little he could do to stop things  from happening.   Yuuri wouldn't risk  the lives of those he cared for,those men had counted on that fact.    Using violence  would have caused too much harm  to innocents and tension between Yakov and those who commanded Celestino's family.     The Nishigori's had nothing to do with anything that happened before he and Yuuri arrived or during their stay.    

Viktor had stayed long enough to make certain the intruders were long gone. 

Yuuri must have heard him when he called to him,  Viktor wanted Yuuri to know he meant to do everything he had to in order to be with him again.   Wanted Yuuri to know he would not be abandoned.   He hadn't expected it to hurt so much, seeing  his love  walk away with those men just when they'd been so close to getting away.                                                                                

It seemed fitting that their last night in Japan  had been  spent simply holding each other , sharing slow languid kisses and touches that never expanding beyond  curious explorations.   Viktor wanted Yuuri to feel safe and confident  knowing that it didn't always have to be sex, there were other ways to express  such emotions.   There was no need to rush.  When it happened  he wanted the act to mean something more than just a release of want and need  that Yuuri was used to.     Viktor had no intention of using Yuuri.    Trust would be gained as slowly as Yuuri required.   

The memories carried him through the long days and weeks after , when against Yakov's  wishes Viktor   returned to Detroit  to wait for his chance.

Despite everything Viktor felt certain  that day would come.  There would be a way to get Yuuri back.  

Saying that the past weeks had changed Viktor  would be an understatement,  he had never considered that opening himself to someone else would  provide so much in return.   He had convinced himself that to find true strength  he must do it alone,  caring too much for others was a weakness he could not afford.   His ambitions  had always been to make Yakov proud of him,  to be found worthy to stand at  the side of that man he'd looked up to since childhood and maybe rule the family  when Yakov was gone.   With such lofty goals how could he trust others easily?   There were always those who would be willing to do anything to take that power from his grasp.     There would always be that  threat looming in the shadows.   

Now there were other possibilities,  new pathways opening that he would never have considered before.     In time Viktor would not be so neglectful of  Life and Love.   He wasn't certain yet where  this new relationship might lead him but he felt ready to find out.    It might be difficult proving to Yuuri that he could trust him,  that he  didn't have to survive the way he had been.   He  couldn't offer a certain future but he hoped to offer another way to live--for both of them.   That is why Viktor chose to contact Yakov,  proposing   something neither of them expected to hear coming  from his lips.   Before coming to Detroit  to be on loan to Celestino,   Viktor wasn't known as a man who cared very much about anyone but himself.    Cold,selfish,distant, self-centered and  uncaring were words often used to describe him when people were not in his presence.  It was how he thought he should be.