Join Me In Hell

Everything and Nothing (Yuuri)

I want to cut with a sword those throats that are singing about love 

I want to lock in  ice the hands that are writing those verses about a fervent passion

Taken from Stammi  Vicino   Aria(Yuri on Ice)

A month  had passed since his return from Japan and with it came no word from Viktor.  Being honest with himself on the subject, Yuuri wasn't surprised, with their mission  over there would no longer be a need to protect him.   No need to be concerned.   Life would return to how it was before.   Viktor would most likely return to Russia if he hadn't already and that would be the end.   He might even have someone waiting for him there.   

He'd left Japan with  the men sent by Celestino to fetch him, knowing that there wouldn't be any use in fighting what was inevitable.   He didn't want to be a burden anymore,  and he didn't want to be someone's charity project either.   He was who he was and Viktor was Viktor, it was time the dream ended.  That's what he told Viktor before walking away.    It was great while it lasted but they needed to get back to reality.  

Despite all the confusion and mixed signals Viktor had given Yuuri a lot to consider.  He'd never spent much time thinking about his future, or what he might want to do or be since that future remained uncertain.  No use in planning for something he doubted he would ever have.   He had also never questioned Celestino or the reasons behind his words and actions, not until recently. Perhaps if he thought about things enough he could find his own path and be confident in saying that this is what he wanted.   Maybe he could live his own life.     It could be possible that Viktor just thought Yuuri needed saving.  

He didn't want to be saved, truthfully Yuuri only wanted the freedom to be and do what he wanted.   

 Yuuko hadn't thought so when she talked about her thoughts on Viktor.   But she had such an  optimistic view of the world  that bordered on naivete sometimes.   

Nothing was exactly as it had been, whether Viktor showed up again or not.   Yuuri had been given a taste of something he never knew could exist for him and he wanted more.

Viktor had told him to wait, to trust him, that he would not be abandoned.   He'd shouted those words as Yuuri walked away.   Yet weeks  had passed and Yuuri remained alone.   He'd forced himself back into the familiar life experienced before the tour, taking a photo shoot only a couple days ago for one of his more important clients.    It wasn't easy returning to who he used to be, to rebuild the walls that had taken years in forming.   Walls that were now in ruins.

 He knew he could do it.   He had to.

Yuuri always took pride in knowing he was a survivor.   

Returning to Japan  had changed everything, reminding him of what he had once felt, the goals  he once worked for and all that he'd been forced to leave behind.  Even if he never saw Viktor again he would remember what the man had done for him.   

It didn't surprise Yuuri that morning when Celestino called demanding they meet, informing him that he had an important job for Yuuri. The boss had been angry at Viktor, but this time he never took out any of his anger directly on Yuuri.   There were rumors eluding to a more pressing matter that demanded Celestino's attention, something more important than the loss of a friend and ally.   

When he arrived at Celestino's office his desk was flanked by  two men in suits that were told to leave.   He did not look happy.   He hadn't looked very happy since lecturing Yuuri  on why he should be more grateful for all Celestino had done for him.   If not for him Yuuri would have been  nothing.   Yuuri had been lectured before but this time it came with threats.    He would do as he was told,  with no further complaints or rebellions and if he contacted  Viktor  or anyone not approved of there would be consequences.