Burning Bridges // muke

chapter eleven

tell everyone im fine but im still sitting here, choking on the aftertaste

Luke laughed as he sat on Arzaylea's couch, Petunia on his lap and barking excitedly at him. "Hi princess, how are you? Oh, I missed you so much."

Petunia licked his hand and Luke kissed her head. "Did you miss me?" He asked and Arzaylea nodded her head.

"So much. She would whine if I didn't let her use the blanket you bought her." She smiled and he looked up at her.

"Yeah?" He asked and she smiled. "Aww, I'm not gonna go anywhere again. I swear."

"So things are getting better, huh?" His ex asked and Luke paused. "No more drugs?"

"Yeah, everything's lighting up a bit. It's pretty amazing actually." Luke told her, giving her a toothy grin. "Calum and Ashton are a lot of help."

"You told them?"

No. No he didn't.

"Mhm," he hummed. "They're understanding. They didn't get mad. They were upset, but not mad."

"Huh..." She sounded slightly skeptical. "They weren't mad you relapsed and are caught in destructive spiral with your bandmate that can possibly ruin the band?"

"Maybe I left some details out," he admitted with a sigh. "It's nothing. I'm working on it, okay?"

"Yeah, of course." She nodded and then stood up. "Want any coffee? Tea?" She asked and he nodded.

"Can I have some tea? You know my favorite, righ-"

"Yeah, I do. One second." She went to the kitchen and Luke looked at Petunia.

"I'm so mad Michael just dropped you off here without telling me." He mumbled as he scratched her belly. "Has mama been spoiling you?"

She whined when he stopped and Luke chuckled half heartedly. "Like mother like daughter."

"I can hear you!" She called and Luke turned around.

"Good!"

He leaned back against the couch and then crossed his legs as he scratched his arm. "So, I'm a pretty good liar, Luke." He heard his ex say and he snorted.

"We been knowing that, next."

"Ha ha," she rolled her eyes as she handed him a mug. "Let it steep."

He nodded and she sat down. "Have you and Michael ended your... whatever you wanna call it? It'd be best, you know that right?" She asked and he took a deep breath.

"I'm just taking it as a technical break up. He's practically with Crystal already." He reminded her and she rose an eyebrow at him.

"So you're done with him? No more waiting around or pretending things are okay? You owe it to yourself to get out of this poisonous relationship." She told him and he shrugged.

"Whatever happens, happens, I guess." He shrugged his shoulders. "It doesn't matter to me anymore."

"No. No. Don't give me that bullshit." She scoffed. "You get off your ass and get your shit straight. It does matter. You're not a nobody, Luke. People give a shit about you, so you should give a shit about yourself and get out of this. For good."

"I mean, if you knew what went on in my head. Not everyone can post cryptic poetry on Instagram and make heavily opinion based tweets. Everything I do is under a microscope." He picked his mug up and then took a drink despite his tea being not completely ready.

"So you're going to bottle your shit up and just hope to God it doesn't bust like a champagne bottle?" She asked and Luke nodded. "You trashed your apartment."

"I was in a bad place -"

"Listen, Lu," she sighed heavily. "You need to deal with your problems. Your mental health is at stake here. You need to get help, or learn to stop obsessing over what used to be and could be."

He knew she was right and that he was obsessive when he wasn't spiraling face first into self destructive flames, but he shrugged her off. He didn't want her to know just how bad it was. He didn't need her to know. It was his own issues to deal with however he pleased.

"Didn't you obsess over us and try to burn my career to the ground with your so called 'exposure'?" He asked in retaliation and she narrowed her eyes at him.

"I thought we were past this." She punctuated, and he knew he was playing a low card, but he couldn't admit she was right. "We don't talk about it."

"So you're going to give me advice on obsessions with somebody when -"

"If you don't want my advice then by all means, blow yourself into the fucking ground but don't come into my house and bring up mistakes we both agreed to forgive and forget." She cut him off sharply. "I get enough shit from your fans as is. In fact, I don't even want people to know we talk still because if word gets out, who gets put at the opposite end of the barrel?"

Luke was silent and she set her mug down. "I'm telling you what I think you should do, and that's forget about him and move on. Do what you will with it, but don't ask again in hopes I'll change my words. I won't."

"Look... I'm -"

"I don't need your apologies." She stood up and he watched her walk to the kitchen. "I need you to get your shit together."

Luke nodded, resting his cheek on his fist and he looked over the living room. He didn't know why he had such an attitude right now, but he did and he knew if he didn't leave now, the two would end up arguing.

"Hey, Arz, I think I'm gonna go." He called, standing up and smiling sadly as Petunia clawed at his leg while whining.

"Don't let the door hit you." She shouted to him and he didn't know how he knew she was going to say that.

"I'll be back soon, princess." He told Petunia as he kissed her head. "I'm just... not in a good place. Not yet."

He didn't know what hurt him more, leaving her house knowing full damn well she was right about the situation or lying to his best friends' face as he walked into Ashton's house with a smile, asking to hang out with them since he was bored.

"Everything good?" Ashton asked as he gave him a hug and Luke grinned as a weight tugged at his heart.

"Amazing." He replied without a second thought.