Well here it finally is- the crucial (sometimes painful) final year of high school. I'm anticipating the mixed emotions of the realization that we're graduating soon to be very prevalent. For now, we hold our breaths and forget that fact until it becomes a closer conundrum.
"I've been called a lot of things, sassy anteater is a new one." (9/21/17)
"Toasty memes." (9/21/17)
"Aquatic chipmunk." (9/21/17)
"You see that bin over there? My severed dick is in there." (9/21/17)
"Sour Patch Trump." (9/24/17)
"I'm so straight, we might as well rename the human race sapien sapiens cuz no homo bro." (9/24/17)
"Ethnic Salad." (9/27/17)
"God was an idiot when he created the hairdryer." (10/13/17)
"I'm always cute, sometimes I just feel like showcasing it." (10/15/17)
"If you feed your child only grass and then eat it, it's still cannibalism, you're not a vegetarian." (10/17/17)
"Live life like you give zero fucks." (10/23/17)
"A landscape of views, it's like thanksgiving dinner." (10/24/17)
"The 9 genocides hypothetical" (10/24/17)
"TMT." (10/24/17)
"Fuck the college essay, but don't actually, you'll get paper cuts." (10/24/17)
"I am foreskin." (10/27/17)
"You're the only birth control they need." (11/2/17)
"Calculus related to dogs because stocks are graph and rocks are present in calculus as well as all forms of matter." (11/2/17)
"So he was a pussy? No, he was a Christian." (11/2/17)
"I dont want fucking fruit snacks, Soph." (11/4/17)
"You treat the dictionary like a suggestion. You might as well call it a coaster because that's all it's good for." (11/6/17)
"Eat my booty o's." (11/7/17)
"Is it possible for a dog to have an extra nipples?" (11/16/17)
"Uncle Brian for president." (11/19/17)
"There's a lot of deer in my brain forest." (11/20/17)
"Give me a second. Got to go check out my own ass." (11/21/17)
"He's gonna frost her cupcakes" (11/24/17)
"All nipples are special." (11/26/17)
"Will you help me drown my son?" (11/27/17)
"We are Hunterdon Central, and there is no sex without consent" (12/8/17)
"There's so much crack-cocaine" (12/9/17)
"Dick Home." (12/16/17)
"In Soviet Russia, you don't lick pussy, pussy lick you." (12/24/17)
"Good good, yes yes." (12/26/17)
"You know what bons my jovi?" (1/1/18)
"Don't judge a potato by it's shit stains." (1/1/18)
"Sperm measuring cups." (1/2/18)
"50 shades of beige." (1/6/18)
"Well, roller skates." (1/17/18)
"Hawaii to North Dakota is the biggest downgrade." (1/22/18)
"LIKE IF I THOUGHT THERE WAS NO GOD BEFORE DAMN DOES HIS CHEST OFFER A COMPELLING CASE." (2/12/18)
"Doesn't mean you can't treat your woman right, but she still has to be your slave." (2/18/18)
"Pelvic punch." (2/18/18)
"Boob cubes." (2/18/18)
"I'LL SMOKE ALL THE ADVIL I WANT." (3/12/18)
"Never do things that are hard unless it's a dick." (3/16/18)
"All of a vaginas magic is on the inside why can't we have as much fun?" (3/21/18)
"Survey: What color is my hair? Blonde, yellow, corn, someone shit on gold." (3/24/18)
"I lost my dick, we better make a missing poster because that shit is valuable ." (4/7/18)
"Swivel your way to the presidency." (4/13/18)
"Wow, that really helped me a lot. You know what, you're right! It is my Dick's and I should be proud of it!" (4/17/18)
"When you get cockblocked by your car." (4/26/18)
"Sir, can you please un-cock my block." (4/28/18)
"Strategically stick your tit." (4/28/18)
"Every time I take a shit, I cry a little." (4/28/18)
"I'm going to Kermit suicide." (5/4/18)
"Stop being sexually aroused by sugar containers." (5/11/18)
"I know they're huge, my computers glitching so I have to make her tits large for now." (5/17/18)
"It's like a fruit roll up..." (5/19/18)
"10/10 would break my nose again." (6/4/18)
"Temporary anorexia."(6/8/18)
"That's like jungle Asian, I'm a fancy Asian" (6/9/18)
"#notmyRandy." (6/9/18)
"You can tell he's alive cuz he's breathing." (6/9/18)
"I'm warm now I don't need to be pissed on." (6/11/18)
"My sister's at Carnegie Hall right now and here I am holding a condom." (6/11/18)
"Inconsiderate Plane-hole." (6/17/18)
~Summer Quotes~
"It's your fault for breeding with confederates." (6/23/18)
"That's not porn, it's a heating pad." (6/23/18)
"She forgot dick isn't a 3 course meal." (7/5/18)
"Yeet the deet." (7/10/18)
"Tastes like carrot." (7/11/18)
"No more whale cock talk." (7/19/18)
"Wash independently." (7/27/18)
YOU ARE READING
The Epic Book of High School Quotes
HumorThe best of what me and my friends say, get ready for some hilarity. This all started when my theater teacher said "It's just Hitler!" (Which, when taken out of context, sounds ridiculous. I'll leave the intended context up to your imagination becau...
