Giant Men and Violent Women

Them

PRESLEY ANN

I can go into some heavy history of Darling, New Hampshire, but where's the fun in that? Sure, history would explain why these people act, talk, eat and live the way they do now. It can explain why these mountain dwellers are reggae-folk lovers, but language and customs shouldn't be taught. They should be learned, one-on-one, as you submerge yourself in another culture, in the rhythms of the reggae beat. However, I think I can sum up the whole of Darling by explaining their religion, which is the very reason they formed Darling, to begin with.

The town of Darling, New Hampshire, was formed on December 25, as most eighteenth-century towns in The New World began—with a handful of pissed off holy people. Apocrypha Catholics—giant-sized, bearded, black-haired men and violent women—according to Native American folklore, were dressed in muskrat furs, carrying a rifle in one hand and seventeen extra books of the Bible in the other. Roman Catholics considered these extra biblical books an abomination.

That handful of giant, violent people refused to let the Pope tell them that souls did not come back to earth over and over until their earthly lessons were complete. They believed in reincarnation. They refused to believe that the dead were in heaven, aimlessly walking around. No, the so-called dead were actually living souls who, if they were not reincarnated and learning lessons on earth, could speak with the living, advising and consoling them. They refused to believe in a place called hell because souls who had a bad lifetime weren't sent to a place called hell. They were sent back to earth until they got it right.

Yet Darlings do believe in the devil and his legion, dark spirits who try to trip us up so that we keep coming back to earth over and over again. And Darlings refuse to believe the Roman Catholics when they say that there is no such thing as spirit guides who try to help you stay on course when the devil and his army attempt to divert you. Of course, there are spirit guides, Darlings think. We, humans, are on earth to learn lessons. And doesn't every student have a guidance counselor? These beliefs are nonsense to Roman Catholics but not to Darling's Apocrypha Catholics. And no one was going to tell the Apocrypha Catholics otherwise, not even God's leading man, the Pope. The Pope might be their father, but he is not their friend.

And this is how Darling was created.

By the way, those Native Americans who were the first to meet the new Darlings, the Joki tribe, put up warning signs once they felt no welcome sign would be forthcoming. About one mile before you entered the new town of Darling, New Hampshire, the Native signs read—as they still do today—You shall soon enter Darling. Its people are Giant Men. They have Violent Women. Turn thyself around. Immediately.