The Boy I Hate

Ten.

"So," Margie hummed as she forcibly yanked my hair into what she called a pancake braid, "you're really not getting back together?" I tried not to wince at the pain radiating from my scalp, instead clenching my thighs around the locker room bench I straddled.

"No," I answered, feeling guilty for lying. A couple pairs of curious eyes glanced towards us when Margie spoke of Rich. She tended to forget how intense the rumor mill at East Port Academy was.

She finished tying the elastic at the bottom of my hair with a "voilá" and turned me around to start painting my face. "I really thought you guys could work through anything."

I felt the cold brush of green color across my cheek. She was most probably drawing a frog silhouette to represent our mascot. "I guess not." Whenever Margie brought up my break-up with Richard I tried to speak as briefly as possible. Lying to Margie was one of the hardest parts of it all.

"Hmm," she mused, with a slight frown. "If you two can't make it, who can?"

Elizabeth walked past, spanking Margie on her way. At which Margie raised an eyebrow at me and I shrugged. Elizabeth just wasn't one to understand boundaries. I was grateful for her absurd behavior just this once, though - as it distracted Margie from speaking of Richard.

Our coach followed Elizabeth into the locker room and hollered, "people are starting to fill the stands! Get out there!"

The weather was still warming up from winter so we wore our long sleeved uniforms, which I preferred to the others. I felt snug walking onto the football field with my green sleeves and cheerleading skirt. Football season was long over, so I didn't get to cheer as often as I liked to. The pep rally we were performing at now was one of our first opportunities since October. Now, mid-March, I was excited to get back into action.

Senior year was a confusing time. It was like you could be laughing with your friends one minute, having a great time, and then realizing suddenly that you were at the last Sadie Hawkins Dance you would ever have. I realized this was probably one of my last pep rallies, and I was prepared to live it up.

The rest of the cheerleaders and I sat on the running track, tightened our shoe laces, and prepared for the rally to really start. East Port Academy was your average public school, we had only earned the title academy based on some bizarre petition all of our parents signed. However, I liked to believe our pep was far more tangible than that of your average school.

Just as I heard our entrance music begin to play, and we started walking to our starting positions, I caught eyes with someone standing slightly below the bleachers. He was looking intently at me as if he were trying to make eye contact. I squinted, and just as the song blared through the speakers I recognized him as Charlie.

I was dancing now, counting in my head, 1 2 3 & 4, 5 6 7 & 8. I tried to keep on beat, and keep my composure, but there was a nagging in the back of my head. We had expected to hear from him; the whole plan was to wait for him to reach out rather than make another move. So why did the very thought of talking to him leave me wishing the song wouldn't end?

As a flyer I had to put on a face of no worry. When it came time to be lifted I made myself smile and wave like nothing was wrong, but from the air I got an even better view of Charles waiting for me. I felt the pit in my stomach grow as we grew nearer to end of the routine. I silently thanked my muscle memory for carrying me through the movement, because if it hadn't my off-track mind would have botched the performance.

When we inevitably reached our ending positions, and the crowd roared, I looked to Margie. She was already looking at me. She must have gathered something was wrong during my lift, when she must have had to work twice as hard to get me in the air with my dead-weight mind. I flicked my chin in the direction of Charlie, and she nodded in understanding.