Let it Go

12. Exam Stress

We are doing our final year project in group of four- me, Swara, Kritika and Sangram. We have distributed our work in between ourselves, to avoid confusion and to be prepared equally.
First semester exams are around the corner, approaching speedily. So as to not get hit by it everyone is trying their best. Every year we do our study for academics in a group. We distribute units and topics in ourselves to study and to take notes. Everyone does study of their part, then we meet at anyone's home or at college and teach the topic to others in easier way. Circulation of notes is also one of the parts of study. At the end we have everything to study for finals.
As usual me and Sangram will be studying together, that means I will be doing study for my topics as well as Sangram's, that means I will be studying at night and will be explaining him in day time. Sangram has much more brain capacity than me and much more grasping power. I have to study hard get in to the flow and then only I will get the point. But he is something else you just have to explain him once about the topic and he will remember it even after exams like back of his hand.
I admit I do study in prospect to pass the exam but when he studies, he understands it totally. He learns while I just pass. You know what I am trying to say don't you? Well If you do then you are just like me and if you don't then you are definitely a scholar.
I was singing study is in the air with song playing in background love is in the air. I heard the laughter in the song, wait last time when I heard the song there was not any kind of laughter. Then who it is? Turning around I found no other than Nikita herself. "Shouldn't you be studying, instead of dancing like maniac?"
"I can dance quite fine for your information and don't you dare to laugh at me."
"I will. Hi hi hi ha ha ha ha" she started laughing like an evil in some children's show. "You do study and I am going to watch movie." She said in teasing tone
"Which one?"
"I am going to watch it wearing my headphones and you are going to study for exams."
She scolded me like an elder sis, making me jealous of her. She has completed her studies and is already doing a good job. Whenever I study, she takes her laptop and watches loads of movies.
So, all in all study is in the air. and I have to study. Reminding myself of this situation I took a book and started to study. Tomorrow me and Sangram are going to library for study and we are going to study the topics which are assigned for him. He is clever no doubt but he is also lazy in same extent. I am preparing his shares of topic and tomorrow I am going to teach them to him which he is going to teach to our group in our group study. Most of the time he learns from me and manages to get more marks than me without writing any rubbish in it.
Sangram messaged me asking about my progress in study. I think Afterall, there is some kind of concern in his brain for his study. Good to know that my fellow. He asked me....... Sorry............ not asked he ordered me to do study properly and explain him in really good way. He also has some audacity to tell me the references from where I should study and from where I shouldn't. That lazy bastard.
Does everyone fell sleepy while studying a very bore subject? I am felling so much sleepy right now and I need a break so I got up from my comfortable study position and went to kitchen to have some coffee. Unlike others coffee or tea doesn't have same effect on me, it doesn't deprive me of sleep. But it is hot enough to dodge some of sleepiness. After making two cups of coffee for niks and me. I went back to Pavilion for study.
Next day I was arrived before Sangram, so I was waiting for him outside the library, right beside the staircase so that when he will be there, he can see me. A voice echoed in the staircase, that can be heard from where I was sitting. As I knew the owner of the voice so I didn't bother to turn around and to have look of him.
Suddenly a pair of shoes came in to my eye sight, I was waiting for him to come but when a pair of shoes came to join the pair of shoes I was looking at, I jerked my head up, so instantly I almost sprained my neck. And you know what! She was there with him, he gave me smile and she was smiling like torturing me look-I-have-stolen-what-was-yours. Some hideous looking evil spirit was dancing behind them screaming surprise-surprise, I wish I could give a solid punch to him. Is it possible to give a punch to a non-existing thing? No, I think that is not possible. Is it a crime to punch a girl? Can I at least give her a single punch? Just one. Pretty please. I was begging to no one in particular and that's why I gave myself an advice not to punch her. Instead my brain ordered me to smile.
She is here was not a problem. Mmmmm......... may be that was a problem a tiny-miny problem. But what hurt me more is that HE didn't bothered to ask me whether she could join us or not.
'Ask? ASK? He didn't inform you that she was coming, asking was far away my brain screamed.' My mind was again stating the obvious.
'Maybe it was all of sudden decision and he didn't got time to tell you that tiny bit of information.' My heart went for the rescue of my very special friend.
'One massage won't require more than 10sec.'
'May be he wanted to give me a surprise.'

'Ha! Surprise right. But let me remind you not a pleasant surprise.'
'Shut up both of you. You both are mine I growled. You can't fight with one another, okay.' 'but I was telling the truth...' brain was going to say some more things in its justifications, but I held out my imaginary hand to my imaginary figure of brain. And turned my attention towards newly arrived persons.
I gave a sweet smile to Kritika and fakest sweet smile to Sangram. He frowned at my reaction but was clever enough to keep his mouth shut. I marched down the passage in to library. Both of them soon joined me on one of desks.
I thought we were sitting outside just like usual.
It is not usual
What do you mean?
..
"Shru?"
"The topics are difficult and you have to refer diagrams for that. The diagrams are too complicated and too many to draw, so I didn't draw them. The books are too heavy to bring them in here, it is better to take book from library."
'You lied' it was my brain once again.

'Last night you didn't allow me to sleep till early morning. You were drawing all those stupid diagrams. Just get them out of the bag. NOW!' Since when my brain started to argue with me? I don't know. Is it even possible? 'Please shut up you little brain.' 'I will not I was working almost whole night; my work shouldn't get unnoticed. I will fight for my right.'
I just ignored my so-called brain and went to search books we will require for the study. I could have argued with it, that its work is not wasted, I will surely use it at exam time.
I was waiting for Sangram to follow me. But when I turned around both of them were sitting comfortably well as comfortably as one can sit on library chairs. Sangram was leaning towards HER and she was whispering something in is ear. Sangram smiled at her. That dazzling smile... it made me forget for quite some time that it is not a good thing, but I don't want to jump on to conclusions right now. So, ignored them and carried all of the heavy books in my two little hands.
I was walking just fine, when suddenly co-ordination between my legs was lost and I went down to hug the floor, throwing all the books in the process. Ouch that hurts One must know the result of hugging the floors. Stupid, stupid legs.
Sangram and Kritika laughed at my show. But when I sent death glare in his direction, then only he got up from his place and came to help me. He offered me his hand to get up from the floor but I completely ignored his hand.
'Thank you so much Mr. for laughing at me I can get on my two legs on my own thank you so much.' I wanted to say it but like a coward I didn't. He gave me a strange look. But once again I ignored him, totally, completely, entirely. He picked up the books and followed me to the table.
I show them diagrams after diagrams, explained them process after process, taught them topics after topics, but never looked at anyone for once. Sangram wanted to ask me something, I was feeling his eyes on me. But I ignored them too.
About 2 hours later Kritika excused herself for washroom. As soon as she was out of hearing range, Sangram asked me "What happened to you Shruti?"
"Nothing"
"Why you are not talking?"
"I am the one who is explaining that means I am the one who is talking."
"Stop playing dumb and answer me."
"Thank you so much for telling me that we got a company for our study sessions. It was very nice of you."
"Shru that was decided a week ago."
"A WEEK AGO. You must be kidding me."
"What? I told you."
"I am not forgetful, Sangram. You. Didnt. Tell. Me. Anything."
"Ohhh.. Maybe I forgot. But come on that's not a big issue."
"No, its not. Just last semester for one single Unit, Uday wanted to join us. You made a very big fuss of that, you didn't allow him for the same. You taught him at your room."
"That was different"
"How So?"
"You didn't even bother to inform me, asking was beyond horizon. Sangram the difference is that Uday is your friend still you didn't allow 'our thing' to be common."
"Shru."
"Your friend is coming for whom you didn't keep 'our thing' as our thing"
Giving a glare to Sangram I buried my head in the book in front of me. I again took topic explained it to them like explaining to table and chairs in front of me, without making any eye contact. I tried to solve their queries and if I didn't know then we searched for it in the book or on the internet. All in all, everything was going as smooth as in classroom. There were no jokes, no worthless blabbering of mine or anyone's.
Around 1 pm, Sangram said "let's take a break and have lunch." He was hungry. I was about deny and was going to sit library only. But one fierce look from Sangram made me think that it was better to shut my mouth. Sangram asked me and Kritika what we would like to have for lunch? Kritika was telling him her lunch preferences I ignored them completely and went to cashier to give my order and to pay for my lunch. I am too angry on him to let him pay for my lunch.
I thoroughly ignored them the whole day and answered in a word or two only whenever required. The day which was started with very good mood turned the whole scenario upside down.
I droved home with very sullen mood.