COMEBACK • E.D

30

10:40 AM

I waited for hours. Hoping that he wasn't gone and that my instincts were wrong. That Ethan was still here, that I was going to see him again.

But foolish, Foolish hope.

Grayson came back a few hours ago with an ambulance that held Ethan inside following him. They took him to the hospital, in hopes that he'd wake up there or something.

But he didn't. And I knew it.

The doctor came out of the room Ethan's parents, Grayson, and Cameron, and I had been waiting in front of with a sour look plastered on his face.

" I'm so sorry " he whispered, loud enough for us to hear. " you can see him in a few minutes " he says before walking away from us with a sigh.

I fell to the ground and gasped in shock as the tears started streaming down my cheeks.

It hurt really bad. It hurt worse than the bullying that I've had to deal with for years. Worse than the time my parents got a divorce. Worse than anything I've ever felt in my whole entire life.

I curled up in a little ball and sobbed when I suddenly heard Lisa scream. A loud heart shattering scream.

" oh my God! " she cried.

What was the meaning of my life now? What did I have left to life for anymore? Why wasn't it me who died?

I looked up only to be met with puffy red eyes and tears dripping down to my feet. Grayson looked at me with sad eyes, his body shaking as I get up and stare at him.

He looked so much like him it made me hurt even more. For a second I thought it was Ethan, but who was I kidding?

He suddenly pulled me into a hug and sobbed into my shoulder, his salt tears now dripping onto my shoulders. I cried silently with him too.

This can't be happening. This can't be real.

I couldn't believe it. Ethan was depressed and I didn't know. Nothing made me think that he was.

He laughed, he smiled, he told me he loved life. Nothing lead to me ever thinking that he was depressed.

And that he was going to take his own life moments after texting me that he loved me and that he's sorry.

I knew for sure that this was real life when it was Grayson and i's turn to see Ethan.

There he was. Laying on a hospital bed with his eyes shut and body as still as a rock with nothing but a white sheet covering his bare body.

Without any hesitation, I gently placed my hand on his heart and cried as I went up to his face and caressed it with my fingers.

He was cold. Very cold.

" why? " I choked on a sob as I sniffled and bent down to place a long kiss to his cold forehead.

" Why didn't you tell me? I could've helped you " I whispered as I cried, my eyes wandering around his blank, pale, face.

" why did you do it? What do I have to live for now? What am I gonna do? " I was now sobbing. My vision blurry as I press a soft  kiss to his cold lips, hoping that he'd somehow move his lips against mine and kisse me back, coming back to life, just like in the movies.

But he didn't. His lips were still cold against mine and he didn't move, at all.

That's when I realized that he was actually gone.

Ethan was gone. Forever.

I drove back home right after I had seen him with my eyes dry, now out of anymore tears to let go of. Once I stumbled into my house, I saw my mom sitting on a couch in the living room as she sips on her tea.

I stood there in the hallway, staring at her with my body threatening to fall down to the ground at any given moment.

" hey- liv, are you okay? " she asks before taking a double take and putting her cup down, now walking up to me with concern filling her blue eyes.

" liv, sweetheart what's wrong? " she asks as she wipes away a tear that had escaped my eye with her thumb.

" Ethan's dead " I said. My voice low and raspy as I stare at her while she stares back at me in complete shock.

" oh my God, honey " she cooed as she pulled me in for a hug when I suddenly broke down, drowning her white shirt in my salty tears.

" it hurts so bad, mom " I cried and she sighs.

" I'm so sorry, liv  " she says before pulling me into the living room and sitting me down on the couch she was on when I came in. She wrapped her arms around me and I rested my head on her chest, listening to her heart beat as I try not to think of Ethan's heart that wasn't beating anymore while mine was.

Why wasn't it me who died?

She ran her hands through my hair to try and calm me down while her other hand rubs my back.

" he was depressed. He killed himself right after he texted me. I could've stopped him. It's my fault " I said with my eyes stuck at nothing in particular and she shakes her head.

" no, liv, don't say that " she says.

I wish I was able to die. Atleast temporarily, if not permanently. This sucked. I hated this. Everything felt so foreign to me. Like I knew nothing,  nothing at all.

"  I love you so much liv you don't even understand " Ethan chuckles as he holds my head in his hands and looks me in the eye.

If only he knew how much I loved him.

I gently ran my hands through his hair and bit my lip as my eyes scanned his face, going over his beautiful features that I've always loved to observe.

" can't say I love you too cause that's not enough " I tell him and he raises his eyebrows at me playfully.

" I don't know whether I should be hurt or happy "

" happy I guess cause you'll never find someone like me " I joke as I send a wink his way and he laughs.

" umm I don't think so. Your mom? " he says and I mentally gag as I give him a weird look.

" my mom?  You're saying you'd date my mom ?" I ask and he shrugs.

" maybe "

" oh wow " I giggled.

" liv, go to sleep, baby " mom suddenly whispered and I nodded sadly as I wiped away my tears with the back of my hand and listened to her hum softly as she continued to run her fingers through my hair.

I began to drift away at the soothing feeling,temporarily getting rid of the pain I could only wish I was able to escape from permanently.