Caught In A Lie

3. Habits

..Jimin..

It has been over a month since I began talking to JungKook. We talk daily about everything but nothing at the same time. We talk whenever we both have time, during the day it is rare, but we always talk at night after I get back from the practice room It's become habit to message him as soon as I wake up in the morning and to fall asleep awaiting a message from him. It's become habit to answer the messages he sends me while I am working as soon as I step out of the building, it's become habit to look forward to those messages, and it's become habit to miss him when he's not around. It's become habit to have feelings for him.

I know it is stupid of me to get attached to someone like this, trust me. I can't help it though, I have tried to act like I didn't care many times at this point.. okay, I lied, once. I tried once but I tried really hard. I didn't answer him immediately but it was just hard for me. This only happened because he was teasing me and took it a little far saying that I am not who I say I am. I know he meant no harm by it but it still hurt to think he may not believe me. I really need to get some time off to meet him. Not only for the reason of proving who I am but also for the selfish reason that I want to see him. My feelings have only grown for him. My small crush has turned to something more. I would definitely not call it love but I would no longer call it a crush either. He just makes me very happy, the thought of him even puts a smile on my face. I wanna see him up close, in more than a picture, I wanna hear his voice say my name instead of reading it, I want to see his smile when I tease him like I do, I wanna have to hide my blushing face when he teases me first or calls me cute, I just wanna see him. 

Hoseok and I have been talking a bit more lately, we see each other often at work and we seem to both be putting the effort into talking any time we get the chance. Sometimes he even goes  to the practice room with me after work and helps me with my choreography. He is really good so I offered him that job working with me but he refused. I wasn't mad in the slightest, to be honest I would have been shocked if he had agreed. He's never been one to enjoy the camera's in his face which is why he works behind the scenes, however it was worth a shot. When I say we talk more, it's not just a simple casual greeting. We actually talk about things with each other. I complain to him about my feelings for Jungkook and now that I really think about it, I never hear a complaint from him, I wonder why. He always just sits and listens patiently. He really is a good friend. Which is why today he is coming over to my apartment to coach me in how to tell Jungkook I have feelings for him.

It is something I have been wanting to do for a while now but i wanted to do it on my own. However, one day when I was ranting to Hoseok I let it slip that I was afraid to tell him so he insisted he at least be here to support me. In some ways I am glad he did so, I don't think I could ever do what I had planned on my own. I would have chickened out before I even messaged him.

Work today went really slow today because most of my schedule ended up being changed to where I had nothing to do. I would have half hour gaps between things that I just sat there with nothing to do, the good thing about this is they let me go early. Today, instead of my normal time around 3 -4 pm, I got out at about 11 am and Hoseok even took me to lunch. We went to a new local cafe but didn't get to stay for long since I can't exactly go out into public without being recognized, because of that we were only in there long enough to order what we wanted then we left. We got in and out of there only being noticed by one person. New Record! Also, maybe it is a bit odd to say but I feel like I have seen the guy who took our order before but for some reason I couldn't place my finger on who he was. Maybe I am crazy.