Story 23: Oh, Why?
Oh, why must I suffer? Why must my heart not be able to accept what my brain can? Why must we be separate? Yet, I am proud. You are going so far in life, but me? I'm sinking underground. I wouldn't say my life is hell, I have everything I can ask for and more, but you see, depression and anxiety, they're a bitch, it's too much to bear. The feelings, the hearings, the pain, the voices. My chest hurts, my eyes are rivers, I have constant fear. Thank God for meds, that is, whenever they work. It's too loud, I can't see, my vision is a blur. My doctor, slightly concerned. I am too.
My mom cries.
I feel lonely, though I am far from alone, I feel unloved, but I am loved the most. No one cares, I think, but actually, everyone does. I'm just a mess, a wreck, emotions at their finest. Combined, unwind, like surfing, nearly dying. The feeling of drowning. That little hope you have when you see the light, only to be pulled under again. Bigger than the ocean.
So much love to give, but I don't know how to. It's frustrating, it's madness, what am I to do?! When I don't know how to love... I don't know how to accept love. I can't come to terms with the fact that I am loved.
So, what?
Poem 23: The Beat Goes On
My heart won't stop.
The beat goes on.
Just like a drum...
Buhbump,
Buhbump,
Buhbump.
I ask questions.
Questions about death.
About love,
About life,
About every existence.
Why?
The drums are loud.
So loud.
YOU ARE READING
!Shorts/Poems!
Short StoryA collection of short stories and poems written by me. I only write my inner thoughts and emotions. (I do not own any pictures/videos/gifs I use in this collection. I only own the stories and poems themselves, as they are my original work. Enjoy.)
