You Are Not Alone///Evak

Chapter 1

Hallo! this is my second fic i posted on here and i just wanted to say, hallo! Plz don't hate if i mess up on spelling or punctuation, i'm only human. I'll find a better cover once i find the one that fits this story, but for now... you get's the isak's ear

Here we go, CHAPTER ONE...

Isak POV

What the fuck just happened? I have been asking myself that same question all fucking night. Seriously though, What happened? I was alright, I didn't do anything bad, I don't deserve this. I have already lost my parents being together, I have lost the comforts of home, and now this? Is this my punishment for dating a boy? I'm so pissed, my heart is broken.

I have been reading the same paragraph on wiki about depression and being manic now for hours, trying to pack all the info in my head. All of it makes sense, except for one thing... How do they do it? How do they survive? How do they deal with this whole thinking about deep thoughts and suicide and meaning of life and just... How?

I was about to read it again when my door slowly opens. I look up and see Eskild peeking through.

"Hey," He says. "Do you need anything?"

I look up at him and remember that he has probably walked in my room about three times this morning asking the same thing. But every time he does, I always have this knot in my throat and my eyes start to water. I look at him trying to stay strong

"No. I'm Fine," I finally say.

I look back at my computer acting like I was busy doing something important. Instead of something important, I just see the same paragraph staring back at me, mimicking me. I breathe hard, drawing back the tears that would have fell if it wasn't for me holding them back.

In the corner of my eye I still see Eskild at my door holding the door knob. After a silence that felt like hours, he finally said something, but it made me want to throw a pillow at him.

"It'll pass Isak," Is what he said.

I was so angry, what does he think I've been through? He probably thinks that I broke up with him or something. I forgot what I told him to cope up what really happened. He probably thinks that it's just a simple broken heart and it would just pass, but what I'm going through will scar me for life.

"Even though it doesn't feel that way right now. Even though It's very painful... Heartbreaks always hurts. And you might think it won't pass, but it will."

I keep looking at my computer, trying to block out what he is saying, but I hear every word. My throat is hoarse from crying last night and the night before and the night before that. I will never get over him. I will never forget him. I look at my computer staring at the blue highlighted words 'Depression' and 'Manic'. I hear squeaks from the door hinges as Eskild leans on the door frame. I feel his stare.

"But," He says. "Tell me if you would like to talk, or if you..."

He pauses, clenching on to the door knob again.

"If you need anything," He finishes.

I feel like crying up again, I sew my lips together and breathe with my eyes closed. When I open them, my eyes hover over the words 'episodes'.

I finally answer back to Eskild by nodding my head. I sniffle, and my nose starts to let the crying slip out just enough to make my eyes red. I see in the corner of my eye Eskild slowly moving back, the door following him.

I glance at the partially closed door, and look back at my computer breathing hard. I swallow a lump and look at my phone which lays beside me. I look at my curtains for a split second and that's enough for me to remember what he said to me that one time.

I pick up my phone and instantly see numerous messages from Even. My heart stops and my lips start to make a straight line, neither happy nor sad.

I open them up and see lyrics of 'Cherry Wine' being sent to me. How dare he send that, I said to myself, he knows perfectly well that that is our song. I start to skim through the words, hearing NAS's voice sing them as I read it. I feel a tear reaching my eye lid but I blink it off. These are just words, they mean nothing, I tell myself. My lips part open as I text him.

Isak: Hey Even, I don't understand shit right now. Stop texting me.

My thumb hovers over the send button. I read it over and over and over to hear it in my voice. My thumb accidentally pressed it and I saw the text become blue. I slowly sat my phone once again beside me, regretting I said anything.

I stare at the phone, staring at it like I have never stared at it before. I heard the notification sound. My lips made a smirk, but the smirk instantly fell. I picked up my phone again. I opened it and saw a text from my mom. I remembered that she just sends bible quotes and doesn't really text me. But then I remembered that I sent her a text saying that I had a boyfriend, that I was gay. My thumb hovered over the message. I wasn't ready for what was to come to me. That's when I found this...

Mom: To Isak my son: From the first second I saw you July 21st 1999 at 21:21 I have loved you and I will always love you for all eternity.

My body had stiffened at the thought of my mom excepting my sexuality. She still loved me! Holding in all my tears was now useless, I was letting them fall. My tears that were filled with hatred, love, heart break, and regret were now falling. I smiled, I had not smiled in a while but this was truly the right moment.

I was so scared about coming out to my parents, about what they would think about me. What they had to deal with already and also having to deal with their only son being gay. My tears kept falling, my smile grew bigger. I was in shock.

I set down my phone on my chest and stared at the lavender scent that Eskild got me. My mom excepts me! Her, the one woman that I feared would not approve, approved! My heart was racing, my breathing was rapid along with the tears.

This was the happiest moment of my life.

I"M NOT CRYING, U R!!!

what do you think? was it ok? im gunna update a lot cause i already wrote the whole fic but i want to make this one last a long time. Plz give me feedback.