Alive?

I am alive, but barely. I don't have the strength to open my eyes or speak. I can hear my daughter crying; no, she's sobbing. So is my husband. I'm surprised that they can still cry, considering they have been doing so since I slipped into this coma three months ago. The doctors have tried to pull the plug, but my family won't let them. And to think, it all started on a regular day five months ago.

It was a normal day. I woke up at seven o'clock to wake up my daughter, Hannah. She's five and is in kindergarten at a prestigious school for higher leveled children. I know it's weird, but she's a very intelligent little girl. She takes after me, of course. I walked into her room to see my peacefully sleeping little girl with a small puppy curled up in her arms. Muffin is our 6-month-old Labrador Retriever. We got her from the neighbor, whose dog had had a litter. Hannah was good friends with their daughter so, we got her for free.

"Wake up!" I screamed. She jumped up from her bed and groggily rubbed her eyes. I turned to walk downstairs and tripped over Muffin. I tumbled down the stairs and hit my head on almost every step. I hit the last step then smake my head against the hard linoleum floor. Everything went black.

I was immediately rushed to the ER and have been stuck in the ICU ever since. I was conscious, but I suffered major brain damage and have undergone multiple surgeries. The surgeries were successful and after the last one- about four months ago-my eyes briefly fluttered open. My husband was ecstatic, but Hannah was at school. He still made her go because he knew that is what I would want, and it was. The lights were bright so I had to close them after a minute or so, but I was never physically able to reopen them. I slipped into a coma and haven't been able to come out of it. From listening to my husband converse with the doctors, I have died twice and, obviously, they brought me back, but I don't have long. The doctors said that they needed to unplug my life support soon, or my death would be slow and painful. My husband finally agreed not wanting to hurt me or prolong the inevitable. Hannah had sat silent, not surprised by her father's compliance, but heartbroken that she was losing her mother. No five-year-old should ever have to endure this, and I hate myself for it.

So here we are today was the day, the last day, of my life.

"Okay, please say your final goodbyes," I heard the doctor.

I wanted to jump up and say "Hey, I'm still alive here; you don't have to do this" but I can't. He leaves the room.

My daughter started her tear-jerking speech, "Mommy, I love you, and I just want you to know that...," She continued, but I was fading in and out of consciousness unable to hear most of it. My husband went next.

"I love you, I always have, and I always will. When I said 'Till death do us part' I didn't expect it to be so soon, but everything happens for a reason and whatever this one is better to be really fucking good."

I wanted to start crying, but no tears came out, it was all in my head. I saw a blinding white light.

"Goodbye, my loves," I tried to mumble, gathering all my strength. My husband gasped, as I flatlined, and fell to the floor sobbing harder. Hannah tried to comfort him, but she was even more distraught. She knew that I was gone, but she didn't know it was forever. He hugged her and they cried on each other's shoulders. The doctors came back in and pushed them out, but how would I know what all was happening. I was dead, right? Well, kind of. I was still there, but not in my body. I had no idea what was happening. It felt like I was right next to them; but, at the same time, I wasn't.

Then, it came to me; maybe I was here to watch over them. I may not be alive, but I was I their guardian angel.  I guess needed to be there for them, even if I wasn't.

I slid out of the bed and looked at my body. I was pale, almost white, which is horrifying because I'm not white. I can't believe they had to see me like this.

The door swung open and I looked to see a man in a white coat, obviously, the doctor, though I had never seen him whilst in the hospital. As soon as he saw my lifeless body, his calm expression dropped. "Oh, you've already done it?" he asked. 

It hit me, I knew this man well, hed raised me after my parents passed. "Uncle Alex,"  my lips quivered at the words.

The last time I had seen him we were in a fight, it was the week before my accident. I should've just agreed with him. We wanted to move, but he didn't want us to leave him. My aunt had died and he was on his own, he was widowed at the age of 50.

He looked up and looked around the room. Had he had heard me? He glanced past me,  so he couldn't have seen me.

"Did someone say something?" he stared straight at the nurses who were unhooking all the machines from my body.

"No sir," a blonde male nurse replied.

"Well then, nevermind," he walked out of the room and I followed behind him. I didn't think I could walk through walls, but I didn't want to open the door when I had legitimately just died and if they couldn't see me and the door opening randomly definitely would scare someone.

But, I had to find my family, I needed them and they needed me. I ran down the stairs and through the front doors to the parking lot. Quickly scanning the huge lot, I could see that he was buckling Hannah into the car seat. I ran and grabbed onto my husband's arm. He jumps, I guess felt me, though he couldn't see me. He turned around, and I jumped onto his torso. "I'm here baby," I whispered in his ear.

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So do you like it? I really enjoyed writing it. Originally this was an assignment for an English class where 15 minutes to write a story that took place in 10 minutes. It started off as her last ten minutes before the life support was taken off and she recalled her situation. Then at the end of our unit, we had to take a story we wrote in class and revise it for a "test" grade. I chose this and added a lot to it. My teacher's aide read it when I was done and she started crying! My friend wouldn't read it during class because she refused to cry in class. Then I added more and decided to post it here and have edited and added here and there and v'ola! As of right now, I'm really proud of this, but who knows maybe there will be more. Oh, and by the way, I got an A+ on that story and extra credit, no biggie. This authors note was really long if you read it all you deserve a brookie. If you don't know what that is then I take it back and you don't get one. But I still love you even if you don't know or didn't read this far. 😙