He treated me a coffee to console. But all the thinking and sleepless nights couldn't be erased by one cup of coffee.
Was this all he knows? To hurt me, to make me think what could possibly happened? To make me think if he still like me? What is the point of dating me though? To make me feel all of these? This seemingly never ending distress and jaded situation while I'm with him.
"Alessia. You know, this month-" I cut him off because I knew he'd make an excuse.
"I know what you'll say." I held up my right hand in front of his face. I was putting on a brave facade and that vibe that I don't really care but I do, I always have and always will. "You know. That's why I gave you this whole October. To have the chance to have the best times with your bestfriend for one last time before he got chained in his house by his wife."
I knew how men's thinking works. I could act like one if I really have to. I could speak like them if I really want to. All of my cousins of both of my parents are all men. I was the only girl and that was cool, not until I couldn't have anyone to share my secrets with. To have someone to accompany me to buy some tampons when I had emergency periods and with my crushes that Victor kept teasing me until now, and a lot more.
"Gab, what are we? 16? Wake up, you're 23 and I am 22. Do you still go out and run around playing? Because if you are I'm out of here." I sipped one last time before I stood up and left him.
Without even knowing if I'll ever see him again.
Like the usual, I grabbed my bag and left. That was a break up, wasn't it? I offered a break up, again. Was this third? Why does it always have to be me? Don't they have the nerve to say it? To do it? All these men I dated always toyed with me, always have, that I nearly gave up on love. Did I look like a toy for these people? Am I too naive? Too kind? Too forgiving and considerate? Is being a good person wrong?
But Gab came, I gave him a hard time for four months before I said yes. I realized, why not give him a chance? One last try for the sake of love. But now, I couldn't find love in his eyes. I couldn't even find anything in it.
I didn't expect him to come after me. (None of my exes did, so why would he?) To beg for another chance, because that's just how he is. He sees everything in plain black and white, there's no grey.
I didn't know when or where or what why we drifted off. But I knew the next day he will be just okay, just like for the past days. For the past weeks. Next years and counting. Why wouldn't he?
To my surprise my tears streamed down my face along with flooded memories with him on one time on the beach. Coming to CD stores and bookstores. Waiting me up until I get off to work and accompanying me to local libraries to study for a scholarship.
Why does he have to be this good that I looked this bad? Why was he good and turned out to be like this? Was it my fault too?
I heard myself crying, struggling to find the way out of the door. I kept my mouth shut with my hands but it was no help. Why does the door felt and looked so far from here?
It was sooooooo early for crying.
I only meant to buy some candles for my colleague's birthday cupcake for today. Look where it ended up?
My sight started to blurred up from all these tears. As I scrambled through my bag I couldn't find any tissues or anything to wipe my face, there was a hand that grabbed me by the arm and before he lead me out the door he put something around my waist, his jacket.
"What now?," I asked him while looking pretty lame for crying. I even have to look up to stop them.
"You know, you're a piece of work. You got your period today. Stop being crazy i'll buy you some ice cream.," He didn't even gave me a chance to speak or complain. He just grabbed my hand and went to the parking lot. "You need to get changed first."
He acts like nothing happened in there, like there's nothing wrong in this relationship. At this very moment.
"Don't blame my period on this. I can still think straight while I'm on it. Just get me home please." I said in a very tired tone and that I have exhaled all the air out of my body.
"Aleissa, I know you're upset but can you give me one more chance to make this up?" He said and held my hands that were on a fist.
"What for? To just do it again? How many times was it Gab? I will just only get stood up, again and again. By you. By my boyfriend."
I didn't know if I was just wasn't ready to see him because my heart raced when I looked up at him. I missed him, a lot, but I can't let him in just yet and disappear again.
"Did you buy tampons? You got a leak.," Mom asked when she saw me going upstairs. I had to answer no. I was lucky because my voice sounded perfectly normal, not that clogged one from crying.
I went straight into the bathroom to get cleaned up and had a shower. I blowed my hair dry and came downstairs to eat but I saw him there. Gabriel, talking to my mom and dad.
"I'm pretty sure I told you goodbye after dropping me off." I said from the staircase and ran upstairs again. I locked my door and he was able to open it. I forgot I gave him a key.
I laid my hand out.
"I'm not giving it to you.," he said and ignored me to sit at my bed. "I will though. I'm pretty sure I will. Not just yet."
"Why not now? God, Gab its 5 in the morning. You made me cry this 4 AM. What will you do in the next hour?" I asked, standing up and went over him, laid my hand out again.
Anyway, what could possibly go wrong? I think its me. And this feeling. And this person holding both of my hands begging for forgiveness.
"Don't you think its unfair? I waited everyday. You wouldn't have come over if I didn't see you." He didn't know what to say again. Its strange that all I can say about him is his body language. And that I don't know him at all.
What could possibly go wrong? I think its falling inlove; its hard, its cruel and complicated.
"I know, I know. I'm sorry," he bit his upper lip, that meant he was being shy and sincere. "What do I do to be forgiven? Huh?" He squeezed my hands, that meant he missed me, too.
What could possibly go wrong? Well, I guess, right now, nothing.
YOU ARE READING
What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
Short StoryBut how long? How often? I want to run as fast as I can from all these but I'm paralyzed.