Devotion | Kylo Ren x Reader

You'd been watching over Kylo Ren ever since he was injured in the battle with Rey. Hux had assigned you to the position, mainly because he knew that there was something going on between you and Ren. He couldn't quite put his finger on what, but he knew.

You felt helpless while you watched over him. He stayed in his bed, the entire room feeling gloomy. While everything was already black, the look of a bloodied, scarred, and pale Kylo Ren was weighing down on your heart. His eyes were half-lidded, and he was keeping his eyes on your face.

"It hurts," He told you, not necessarily expecting a reply.

You reached out and carefully took your hand in his while you sat on the edge of the bed. He looked at you longingly, as if he had something else to say.

You'd only seen that look from him three times. The first time, you'd seen it on Jakku. You were merely a storm trooper then, and when you'd cradled your dying friend in your first battlefield experience, you'd seen him look at you. Even though his mask was on, you felt his sympathy radiate from him while fear and disbelief cracked you.

The second time you'd seen it was after you'd had a complete meltdown in front of Ren, Hux, and Phasma. Captain Phasma had come to you while you were being spoken to, informing you and the other two that your home planet had been blown up. 'Eliminated' was the word she used. You'd started to shake, and Ren have you that same look through his mask.

And now, here it was again. His words lingered in his mouth when they should have been in the air.
After what seemed like a lifetime of silence, Kylo spoke up again. "(Y/n), I have a favour to ask of you."

You looked at him confused, waiting for him to explain.

"Tell me that this pain will end soon."

You wanted to tell him that, sure. But his wounds were deep. They were deeper than the skin.

"Kylo," You breathed, gently grabbing his hand and watching his expression.

His eyes were watering, threatening to spill while his eyes and nose tinted red.

"Tell me that I won't feel a thing."

"What do you mean?" You asked.

"When you leave, tell me I won't feel a thing. Because I truly do not want you to go, (y/n)." He cried, watching your face in reaction.

"Go?" You asked, obviously confused.

"Everyone always leaves," His voice was dangerous, uneven and broken.

You'd wondered why he thought about you leaving. You'd gone through a lot together. From what Hux didn't know, you and Kylo were close in more ways than one. You'd spoken about emotions, and about your past.

You'd spent days knelt in the floor with him, coaxing a lightsaber out of his hands while he shook and a control panel flickered and sparked behind him. You'd spent nights holding him while he cried after nightmares. There were other days where Kylo cornered you and would speak to you in a low tone, then the nights that followed would leave you broken in all the right ways. After everything, you couldn't leave him. You refused, even.

"I'm not everyone," You told him, squeezing his hand. Kylo blinked a few times, tears streaming down his cheeks.

"I just don't want to lose you. I love you."

"And I love you, Kylo. Don't ever forget that," You leant over, kissing his lips.

You'd never go. Your relationship with him was nothing but pure devotion.

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