The Girl Who Doesn't Smile

Chapter Six: Memories and Mistakes

I give myself five minutes. Not one second over. Not a second less. Five might seem a strange number to choose but to me in makes perfect sense. Five is a nice number. People like to count in fives for it's simplicity. It marks half way through a new set of numbers. Five is considered the number of balance. The Pythagoreans thought of five as "hieros gamos", the marriage between heaven and earth. It symbolizes perfection. Therefor it makes sense that the number of minutes I give myself to collect my emotions and thoughts represent the perfect number, giving me the idea that my thoughts and decisions I have made are perfect. Irrational but helpful.

No one speaks of the scene in the parking lot this morning. At least not directly to me. Of course I can still here the whispers that surround me as the story from this morning gets distorted as it is passed on from one new person to the next. It is like watching a large game of telephone.

I keep facing forward so I don't give away my cover but I can't stop some of the chuckles that escape from me at some of the most ridiculous changes.

It's interesting to see how our society works. The shallowness that surrounds some of their lives, hoping it will lead to some type of depth. But alas, it will not. They will continue to intervene in others lives in order to fill that empty hole they have achieved by lacking substance or purpose in the world in which they live in. I look around and I am able to see the ones that will be unhappy because they value such materialistic things. The popular girls that are willing to do anything for people to like them, even if it is cruel and wrong. The jocks that spend their entire lives wrapped in sports in hopes they can make it to the big leagues. The druggies that are content with that feeling they hold onto for a moment. The party kids that are stuck in the now and are never able to look into the future. Sometimes I am grateful for not being one of them. To have the ability to look into the future so I can achieve the things I want. Other times, I envy their ignorance.

"That was quiet an entrance." I force myself not to flinch from the overwhelming presence behind me. A familiar cologne tickles my nose and I know who it is before I even turn around in my chair.

"Hello Dominic," I say in my coolest of tones. I have nothing against him, really I don't. I simply just can't allow him to slip past my defenses. If I allow him to enter into my world then anyone could. And that isn't safe. For me and for them.

Even with my cool tone he smiles his bright, sunny smile. "Where have you been? I've missed seeing you around. I was worried that something happened to you." A slight frown crosses his face for a fraction of a second. But it leaves just as swiftly as it appeared. "But then I remembered who I was thinking of. If anyone can take care of themselves, it's you. If anything, I should be more worried for the people you might I have ran into." He says with a laugh bubbling out of his throat.

I close my eyes with a wince and a forced smile. The sad thing is that he doesn't know just how right he is. "What do you need?" I give him a quick glance and then look down at the assignment sheet I was supposed to be doing. Not that school work is exactly my number one priority right now.

"Well, I was checking on you. Just to make sure that you were okay after this week. And since that you are obviously in good health," he motions to my body that appears to be in working condition," I was coming over to tell you that you are having lunch with all of us today." That damn smile is brighter than ever before, sitting like the king of the world, able to get anything he pleases with a flash of a grin.

I flash a humorless smile. "Yeah, never gonna happen." I glance at the clock. Damn. I still have another 27 minutes in this class. I'm not sure if I can get Dominic to lay off in that amount of time. Without an escape route, he will become more persistent in this enclosed space. I frown at the thought.