The Story Of My Life

Month 1

     "Hayley?" I heard a faint whisper as my triplet brother Jacob entered my room I know he's scared to cause me to scream or hide. He walked over to my bed and touched my cheek and I flinched at his touch but didn't pull away. He gently wrapped his arms around me and I tensed up but reassured myself that he's my brother and he'd never hurt me. My father walked in and seen us hugging. He ran over to me and that switch in my mind flipped and I screamed and hid in the corner. Of course my mother had to rush in and calm me down. I could tell I'm really hurting my dad but I can't stop this from happening. They all left my room and I sat there staring at my ceiling. Why couldn't I have a normal life. I should not be pregnant right now I should be planning my life out I stead of planning for child birth.

      I got up and went to my therapist I need to figure out how to stop these flashbacks. I told her everything that happens any times any guy touches me even if its my own family. "That's normal sweetheart, you were raped. Our mind makes us fear every man and to think that they will do the same. Until we can train our brains that not every man is the same." She made everything sound so simple. I just could not stop these flashbacks and I need to know how. "How? I'm hurting my father, I barely talk to my brothers, I can't even talk to my own boyfriend, and every stranger makes me ran and hide in the closets corner possible." I need help. I know this now but I doesn't seem as easy as she makes it out to be. " That has to do with you. You have to train yourself to not have these flashbacks you need to think about what they mean to you and that they would not harm you." She stated calmly. "I did that with Jacob. I knew he was my brother and he'd never hurt me, but my father came in and ran to me and I froze, screamed and ran to the corner." "You were doing great. You father ran to you so your mind instantly though he was going to harm you. You need to tell every boy that they need to approach you slowly so it doesn't trigger the flashbacks and freezing up." After she told me that I couldn't take anymore of this so I paid her and headed home.

       "Hayley. I'm so sorry. I just want my baby girl back." He cried and I couldn't take it. I walked over to my dad and he backed up. My heart shattered because I knew he was afraid. "Please let me try?" I asked softly as I walked over to him. I wrapped my arms around him and told myself that is my daddy and he'd never hurt me. He wrapped his arms around me and the first time in forever I did not freeze. I felt my dad's tears on my shirt and I too cried. I finally did it. I let go and looked into his eyes pierced with tears and I wiped them away.

  I need to think without anyone clouding my judgment so I went for a walk. Suddenly I felt some grab my neck and shove me against the tree. " I told you to get rid of it!" He yelled softly as he squeezed my neck. "I don't have to listen to you stranger." I didn't know his name and what I wanted to call him was not worth my breath. "I'm Lucas. Now I told you I'd take someone you loved. Now you should probably get to the group home. Jordan didn't look to good after I left." He laughed as he walked away. I ran as fast as my legs would take me. "Hayley. It's bad really bad. Jordan is at Saint Montgomery. I rushed to the hospital as quickly as I could. Once I got there my parents and sibling were already there.

       I rushed into Jordan's room and fell to the floor. His beautiful face was different shades of blue black and purple. His leg was in a cast. "This is all my fault." I cried as I sat on Jordan's bed. Jordan stayed in the hospital until his bruises went away.

    "Yes I'm calling to set up an abortion." I said as tears stung my eyes. I couldn't have anyone else get hurt because I want to keep this baby. Hopefully this baby knows how much I wanted him or her but I had to protect my family too. "Yes, we a spot open but its scheduled for right now is that okay." I didn't think it would be this fast but maybe it would hurt worse than it would down the line. I got to the hospital and got my blood work done and prepared for the operation. "Okay, you're gonna feel a pinch and after we get the baby out we can do whatever you wish with it." She told me and I held my breath because if I breathed I would have told them not to do this. As I felt the instrument touch me the door swung open. " Hayley don't do this! Okay please don't kill our baby!" Jordan screamed as I remember he had his check up today. "Can we have a moment to talk please?" I asked the nurse as she stomped away. I explained to him why I had to do this. "Hayley please we can take care of ourselves, but killing your our baby isn't going to make anyone else feel better. We'd think it's our fault and I know how much you want this baby so please don't punish the baby for this." He said as I seen his tears fall down his face. I whipped his wiped tears and put his hand on my stomach. " I'll keep this baby if you promise you'll never leave us." I told him as we walked to the car to go home.

       3 days later it was Jordan's birthday. Jordan's foster mom talked with a judge and they got Jordan a home. "I want to show you something." I followed Jordan into a room in and busted out in tears. He had put together a baby nursery. "Now before you say anything" he pause and got down on one knee. He pulled out a velvet box. He opened it was a key was nestled inside. "Will you and our baby move in with me?" I knew that I was a little to young to live own, especially with a guy but  I knew my baby and I would be safe her with him.

    At first my parents were not happy that I was moving out but they were always glad I was doing the best I could with being pregnant and with all of my flashbacks. Once we got everything moved in, it was time to say goodbye to everyone. I'd miss all of my  but I would miss my thirds the best. (I'm 1/3 since I'm the oldest Jake is the 2/3 and Drake is the 3/3) Jake spoke first  "You take care of my nephew alright?" I everyone though it was a boy except Drake. "Make sure you come visit because just having Jake is going to drive me nuts." Don't get Drake wrong he loves Jake but Jake is a little more energetic than me and Drake combined. Everyone told me they loved me and the baby and to be safe. Jordan came and picked me up and we headed home.

     Once we got home Jordan and I sat on the couch and watched tv. "Jordan what are we gonna name the baby?" I questioned. I wanted to have everything ready early so we didn't have to rush around all the time. "Well for a girl I was thinking we could name her Rayley Marie . Rayley is a mixture of our names." Jordan said. I loved Rayley. It was a name that isn't really common, and it was simply a beautiful name. "I want to name our son Lucas. I know that was the name of my rapist but in a way this would still be his son." Jordan looked at me and I knew he didn't like this idea. "Look I love that name but this baby will be mine. He's my son now and I'd feel better if we named him with my name too. So how about Lucas Alexander?" Jordan asked and I knew he'd say that but I really love these names. "Rayley Marie and Lucas Alexander Myers. I love them so much. I think its going to be a girl." Not because girls want girl and boys want boys, but because everyone in our family has girls first. " I want a girl. I want a little privess that can protect from all the bad in the world. I want a little girl that looks up to me as her hero, and I want to be the one she comes to when a monster is under her bed." He poured out his as I as cried. He really is the best father for our babies.