when you're gone|•markjin•|{english}

i loved you and i love you.

I have to live like this? This emptiness in my heart... How I'll keep going on without you?
Your words, your every sentence... It's all still fixed in my mind.
You told me that you would always be with me, you promised that you would always love me...
But now? Where are you?
Why there is only your profume? Why did you leave there only our memories? Why are there clothes without someone who could wear them? Why are there only your track but you aren't here?
Was this the condition? Going to do something for your country but leave this world? Disappearing
forever. Without any Merit...
Disappear swept away by missles,bullets...
What I'm reading right now? I cannot believe it... I'm shaking.
"Dear jinyoung,
If you are reading this letters it means that I didn't keep any of my promises. I really hope that you never have to read this ... Cause the value of this letter is very serious... Those are my last words.
In two months I'll end up military and I'll be back in your arms, but something could stop my return forever...
I love you more than anything else, i don't wanna die... But, if you are reading this, yet, I'm gone...
Every day i think you, every day, i miss you.
Please, bring me in your heart but don't cry for me, go on and live. Take care of yourself, don't forget that you are amazing, great.
Don't close yourself, I'll be close to you somehow...
You are the most important person I had but this is a farewell...
The war is so hard... I can't withdraw from the military leverage now. Is mandatory... I hope with all my heart that the war end before you enter...
Thank you for everything, really, if it wasn't for you I would not be the person I am.
You have changed me, you teached me the meaning of knowing how to love someone.
You give all of your love.
I'll miss you, but I'll always be right next to you. I will never stop being at your side.
Always smile, at least do it for me.
I loved you and i love you.
Your mark."
One tear after one drops, I can't do anything to bring you back...
Why this letter was handed to me? Why? You have not kept our promise to be together forever... Why?
You are the only one I really loved and you leave me like this?! With a paper where there are still sign of your tears? I miss you, I don't have the courage to look our old photo, two boys... But one of them is just a reminder...
I regret not having told you enough times that I love you, sorry for not being near enough.
I don't have your shoulder to cry on. I don't have your smile to calm me, i don't have anymore your eyes where lose myself, I no longer have your touch to feel only yours, i don't have your hot lips to savor, i have nothing more.
I loved you and i will continue to do it...
Why am I writing this on a sheet?there i ls no existing recipient.
Maybe you are reading this while I'm writing it? Maybe you see me crying? Who or what are you now? Where are you? Yes, that's how we must apart, but i promise you that when I find force I will smile for you...
I loved and love you.