Forget Me Not - A Phanfiction

Chapter 11

Sorry I suck and I can't update on a regular basis.... Also thanks to whoever submitted my fic on phanfic.tumblr.com! That was a shock to see and also very flattering <333

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Chapter 11

Phil

We stare at each other until I've lost track of time, and it's not until I hear the scrape of a chair near me that I break from Dan's eyes, finally looking away. I don't understand the pull he has over me, but it's painfully strong. I want to call out to him and have him come over. I want to take him in my arms and never let go. A feeling of guilt rises up, and I try like hell to squash it back down.

I don't even really know this man, and yet something screams that I can't let him get away.

I assume he's here to visit somebody, and while I don't want to intrude, I also don't want to be kicking myself for having missed a second chance with him today. I do my best to steal my nerves and calm my rapidly beating heart before walking out into the hallway. I take two more steps and find myself standing right in front of him.

"Hi." I mutter, restraining myself from reaching out to him.

"Hi, Phil." He responds softly.

It's difficult to read him. I can't tell what he's thinking, and his face doesn't give anything way. And though his eyes are tinged with sadness, his face seems to light up when he looks at me.

"How was dinner?" he asks but I can't give him an answer. I'm not even sure what I ate. All my mind can focus on is that Dan is here now, talking to me.

I shrug, hoping that will suffice, and his smiles grows a bit wider as he holds up a brown paper bag, shaking it in front of me.

"Dessert?" he offers and opens up the bag, allowing me to glimpse a scone. I can smell the strong aroma of cinnamon from where I'm standing and my mouth waters.

"Why don't we get some coffee and go back to your place?" asks Dan, and I'm sure my response is etched on my face.

"Aren't you..." I start, completely surprised by his forwardness, "Aren't you here to visit someone?"

"Yeah," he replies, holding out his hand. "you."

I take his hand before I'm able to stop myself and follow Dan back into the cafeteria where he gets two coffees.

"How? Aren't you-" Words stumble out of me, and I can't form a complete sentence.

Dan gives me a sad smile as he hands me a coffee.

"No. I came to see you. That's... that's okay, right?"

He looks uncertain and the way he's biting his lower lip makes me want to reassure him, but I'm still not certain what's going on here. All I know is that I can't resist the pull I feel to him.

"Yeah. It's completely fine. It's great, really. I-I'm very glad to see you."

As soon as the words leave my mouth, I can feel the truth of them in my body. A surge of happiness courses through me, lifting whatever weight has been pressing on me for most of the day. Dan seems to relax considerably as well and his lips twist into an adorable half smile. My heart tightens at the sight. I take another step closer to him, and Dan shifts his coffee and scone into one hand, grabbing my hand.

My body startles at the contact. I can feel the heat of his hand in mine and it feels right. I close my eyes, soaking in the sensation of his fingers lightly drumming against my knuckles. My face heats up as I wonder briefly about what it'd be like to have his fingers elsewhere on my body.

Before I tumble forwardly into this blissful feeling, however, I need to be sure of one thing.

"But...you said you were married."

There.

Now it's out in the open and we won't dance around it, pretending he's not. I watch his face carefully, trying to get a read on it. He's not letting much show as he comes up with and answer. His hand never leaves mine, and I swear I feel him squeeze it a bit tighter.

"I did say that. But it's not what you think. My husband, he..."

As he trails off, it's clear he's trying to choose his words carefully. But why? Is he lying to me?

"...he's gone."

Oh.

I wasn't expecting that. The way he says it, with such finality, I have a feeling he doesn't mean he simply left him. It sounds like whatever's happened, he's never coming back. Sympathy floods my body in a wave, followed by a swell of sadness as I look at Dan.

"I-I'm so sorry." I say, knowing my words are worthless.

Dan pulls his hand from me and waves it in front of his face, but I can still see his eyes glistening with tears.

"It's fine. Really. I'm almost used to it by now. Can we not talk about it?" he asks, and I nod.

With a look of relief, Dan grabs my hand again, an we walk away from the dining room. He leads me towards and indoor garden, which looks nearly deserted. There are a few people walking through, but nobody stays. I spy a small table tucked away in the corner and nods in its direction.

I sit down across from Dan, suddenly aware of how date-like this feels. There's an air of familiarity about it, though I'm almost positive we've never done this before. I sip at my coffee, surprised by how relaxed I feel. There are no nerves, just excitement that Dan is actually here with me. I want to ask him how and why, but I'm almost afraid my time with him is short, so instead I ask him how the rest of his day has been.

"Oh, you know." He shrugs, " Busy, but better now."

He can't hide his smile as he pulls the scone out of the bag and hands it to me. I split it down the middle and offer Dan a piece. We eat our dessert, and Dan tells me about his day and the cafe. The more he talks, the more at ease he becomes.

At one point, I place my hand on his as we laugh, and we both startle at the contact, yet neither of us pull back. 

I want to share with him something about my day, about my life, but nothing comes to mind. All I can tell her is what I'm feeling at the moment.

"I really wish I could tell you more about me," I try to explain. " But, I can't..."

"No, it's okay, Phil. I understand." he reassures me

"Thanks.... I-I'm really happy you're here, Dan. I really...really like you."

I look directly into his eyes, seeing something so familiar and comforting there for a second, and it warms me up from the inside.

"I really like you too." 

We sit there for a little while longer, just enough time for me to gather up whatever courage I can muster.

"Dan?"

When I get his attention it seems as if I've jarred him out of a thought.

"Sorry," he replies. "I was just lost in a memory."

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Only about 3 or so chapters left! Hope you like this chapter