Dealing with infidelities

Prologue

Infidelity: The action or state of being unfaithful to a spouse or other sexual partner.

He lies, she cries. He's not sorry but he apologizes. She complains, he doesn't change. But yet, she still stays.

Nicole's P.O.V
Prologue:  Goodbye

I was happy before he destroyed me.

I was happy.

Why am I here? I don't know.

How did this happen? I don't know.

When will it get easy?

It will never be easy when you decide to stay because of worthless promises.

Jordan, when will you fix this?

He won't and that's why you are leaving.

I stare at him as he enters the house. I don't think I can tolerate life without him but he's destroying me mentally. I find myself thinking about things that shouldn't even happen. I laugh without happiness. I don't go to work anymore. I'm Intoxicated most of the time and I can feel my grip on life slipping.

"It's Six in the morning, you took a week off work yet you didn't step foot in your house the entire period of your break. Where were you"? I ask him as calmly as possible.

I yell and scream at him every night but it's like I don't say anything at all so tonight I decide to be calm. Before his week off, he has been home late for an entire month. I've been too lenient with him. I allow him to tell his lies and accept it. I allow him to take my love and my kindness for weakness. I deal with it in the name of love but I can't handle it anymore.

Our love is fading.

It's his fault and its mine too. I don't know why I blame myself but I just do. I feel drained, my body is drained. Under my makeup, you can see the dying me. You can see the slightly intoxicated me. You can see the pieces of me that want a faithful husband beside me in bed at night telling me about his day. Jordan has me at a point where I would leave everything behind for him. He takes advantage of me. I know it and he knows it.
I knew he was bad for me but I was ready to jump into a relationship with him so I'll have to deal with it. I told myself that I should refuse to stress over something that I can't control and change but I didn't listen to my demand and now look at me.

DRUNK, BROKEN, TIRED.
Yes, I'm intoxicated.

"Baby, not right now, I'm tired", he pleadingly replies.

Do you know why he's tired? He's tired because he was with me all night having "fun".

Dasia was in my head without even being here. My best friend...

My calm facade snaps and I snap along with it.
He's never ready to talk.

"WHEN WILL YOU ABLE TO TALK TO THEN JORDAN?!"

No answer... I grab my phone

"DO I HAVE TO MAKE AN APPOINTMENT OR DO I HAVE TO CHANGE MY IDENTITY TO GET ATLEAST FIVE MINUTES OF YOUR TIME?!"

No answer again... I grab my purse

"I'M SO DONE WITH YOU, I'm DONE! I'm SICK OF IT!"

No answer again... I grab my suitcase

"IM SICK OF BEGGING FOR YOUR ATTENTION EVEN WHEN I DESERVE MORE THAN THAT"

No answer again.. I throw my phone at his head, no reaction.

"I'M TIRED OF YOU NOT LISTENING!"

No answer again... My throat is hurting and I can feel the headache.

Time to calm down. Calm down.....

I shut up with a sigh

"I'm exhausted Jordan, I'm tired of you, I'm tired of life"

"I've had enough"

"I want to leave and I am leaving"

You know you're going crazy when you continually repeat yourself in five minutes.

"I'm sorry I'm late, it won't happen again. I promise," he replies almost as if he is used to the words.

"That's what you come up with?" I ask.

"Your words, your promises, your love have no meaning and no worth because you continue to do the same thing".

His head snaps up when we hear the silent ringing of a phone.

Jordan looks at his phone frightfully but it's not his phone ringing, it's mine.

He asks if I'm going to answer it.

I refused to answer the call but he insisted.
I pick up the phone and answer the call. I put the phone to my ears and I heard the voice of a betrayer.

"I told you, he wouldn't want you forever".

I didn't answer, I couldn't, my voice froze and I was grateful.

Dasia, even as friends,  used to tell me the exact same thing.

I don't realize I'm crying until Jordan wipes away my tears. I look up into green eyes and see sadness. He knows I'm leaving and he won't stop me.

I walk away, phone, bag, and suitcase in hand.

"Nicole, stay, stay one more day, please" he's begging

" No", was all I could manage.

" You won't do one more day for me?" He asks looking betrayed.

" I did one more day for three months now Jordan"

"Why are you leaving"

" You know why and I'm not just leaving, I'm never coming back"

"Goodbye Jordan" was my last words to him.

I said goodbye to him but my mind and my heart couldn't don't want to give him up.