She Keeps Me Warm~Converted

Partnering up

(TRIGGER WARNING)
I weaved through the crowded hallway as quickly as I could, keeping my head down. I couldn't let my noxious gaze fall upon her. I didn't even want her to have to breathe the same air as me. I got to my locker in record time, and hurriedly took out everything I needed for my next class. I used my sleeve to softly close my locker, in case she happened to touch it. Before I could turn to leave for English class, I heard an all-to-familiar laugh that made my heart sink.

"Look babe, your cheat sheet fairy for Spanish has arrived," Austin said in an amused voice, making me cringe. Austin was the crappiest, most pathetic, and disgusting boyfriend to ever walk the universe. I wasn't just saying that because I was madly in love with his girlfriend. Well, it was slightly because of that, but he truly was a terrible boyfriend. I couldn't even be sure that he knew her actual name. All I had ever heard him call her was "babe." I heard her sign in relief and a huge smile instantly made its way onto my face. I loved making her happy, even though what I was doing was wrong. Honestly though, she would've failed Spanish without me and my cheat sheets. As long as no one found out about what was going on, everybody was winning in this situation.

I lived out my five second high, then rushed to make my way to English so I could get there before her. I sat in the back of the room, knowing that she would take her seat in the front. The further away from her I was, the less likely I was to infect her.

I pulled up the sleeves of my hoodie, and saw her name partially carved into my wrist. Only the "C" was slashed in so far. I gave myself a cut every time I looked at or touched her. I couldn't let myself infect her, she'd never be happy with her life. If she wasn't happy, I'd always blame myself, because, well, of course it would be my fault.

How could it not be my fault?

People started to fill the room, so I pulled down my sleeve and gently touched the carving behind my ear. It was an infinity sign with her name beneath it. I did it a long while ago, but I didn't regret it. It was true. I really would love this girl forever, no matter how much she hurt me.

I stared at the ground and watched people's feet as the walked in. I waited for her shoes to come into view. I didn't think it was that creepy. I spent all day looking at the ground, so of course I learned who wears what shoes. Suddenly, a pair of light blue flats appeared, and a small blush bloomed across my cheeks. I was so whipped. I mean, really, I just blushed at a pair of shoes.

Eventually Mrs. Dean walked to the front of the class, clapping her hands loudly. "Class, may I have your attention please?!" She called out, making most of the class turn to face her. I just kept my head down. Not out of disrespect, but to make sure my eyes didn't accidentally fall upon her. "Thank you. Now that I have your attention, I can tell you that you have a project due next Friday." Most of the class let out a loud groan, but I stayed. As long as it wasn't a partner or group project, I would be perfectly fine. "It will be a partner project and no, you will not be choosing them."

You know, Fate, that really wasn't necessary, I thought to myself as I let out an irritated sigh. I wasn't liked very much at all, by anyone. There were many reasons, but it was mainly because, as I'm sure you've guessed by now, I was openly lesbian In a very homophobic school. I came out freshmen year, knowing it'd be pretty hard, but pretty sure I would eventually be okay. I'm...bullied, to say the least. It's pretty bad, but you get used to it. Well, kind of. Actually, not really. Okay, not at all.

As she started to call out names, I decided to not freak out. As long as I don't get her, I would be able to make it out of this project alive. When she finally got to my name, which was last, I began to think about who she hadn't called yet. "Shit," I whispered. My face paled as I finally figured out who was left.