Addiction.

Jasmine

I fell in love with an angel.
He was tall with blonde hair and the most bluest eyes you have ever seen.
He was the Jock of my dreams, well everyone's dreams to be quite frank.

He was like something you saw in a movie, handsome on the outside, handsome in the inside.
or so i thought.

Him & I had became close, we became bestfriends & eventually more then that. everything was going good, he was happy & I was happy.

We cheered for eachother at our games, we went on dates, fuck i spent every waking second with that boy.

One day, he decided he didn't want me anymore. there was someone else, i was no longer the girl of his dreams.
i was no longer the one he woke up next to.
i was no longer the girl he would dream of.
i was no longer the girl he cheered for.
i was no longer the girl that cheered for him.
i was no longer the girl who he hugged.
i was no longer the girl he laid he precious lips on.
i wasn't the one receiving the i love you's.

Instead of I love you, he told me how much of a mess i had become. How much i had made him regret being with me. He told me i was his worst and greatest mistake. He told me he couldn't handle me anymore, he couldn't handle my moods, he couldn't handle my random temptations and givings.

He had cheated on me.
not once.
not twice.
more than three things.

He was what pushed me over the edge.
he was what made me go back to my old ways.
he was what made me draw the knife to my skin.

the sad realization was, i hurt myself for someone who didn't give two damns.

sure, he went to the hospital when he found out i could have died.

did he really care though,
or did he feel like it was all his fault,
did he feel like it was necessary?