One Last Lie

Chapter 5

I awoke damp with sweat, breathing heavily and my heart ready to burst out from my chest. Images of the nightmares swam in my brain as I hauled my self out of my damp and cold sleeping bag and slowly dragged myself to the window.

I pulled the blanket around my shoulders and stepped outside, and a rush of cold air hit me. I closed the door that felt like it could be pulled right off of it's hinges and  sat down on the wooden creaky porch that felt like you could fall right through. And for a minute I thought I was going to. When I didn't, I took a deep breath and relaxed my mind. 

I hated thinking about the nightmares, but every time they happened, I'd always will the thought of them away. I just need to think about it. And I let myself remember every picture, every detail. The way Viktor stared into my horrified face when it was over, his face in a twisted grin. It wasn't really like that, was it? Viktor's not evil...I've never seen anyone look like that...just my mind forcing me to remember it that way. One million times worse than it really was. I really needed a cigarette to help me calm down.

I stayed seated, and began to think harder about it--everything. My life, before that night. What was it? I hardly even remembered my dreams before it happened. I was a new person now. Everything I stood for--well used to stand for was completely gone, which terrified me. Damn Viktor, where the hell are you!? I was shaken, and panicked now. I could get caught. Why the hell did this happen? It's all because I did what Viktor told me. But deep down I knew the truth. I could blame Viktor for everything that's happened, starting with that night, but it wouldn't be right. 

It's all because of me this happened, I thought to myself. Why do I always blame other people when all I have to blame is myself? Dumping the blame elsewhere won't change anything. I knew why I blamed Viktor and not me, though. I didn't want to live believing it was my fault, but it was. And this was the first time I really forced myself to understand it was me, not just Viktor. Yet I couldn't help resenting him for pulling me into it. If I had just walked away, it would only be you going through hell Viktor. I should've let it be that way. And now you're gone.

Viktor. Were you really caught? Or did you just leave without me?

                                                                                     ****

"You look exhausted. Did you get any sleep?" Yara asked pouring coffee into my cup.

"Not really," I muttered. I was in no mood to talk. All I wanted was sleep. But I knew I wouldn't be able to. Ever since then, I hated sleep. I've been dreading it, since my dreams would never let me forget about it.

"Did you talk to him?" I slowly looked at her. "Ron," she quickly said. I lazily shook my head. "Still? Where do you think he'd go?"

"I don't know. Probably wondering the same about me," I lied. He was either on his way to Groztough, or caught. I'm just being an ass now. He didn't just leave... my head ached trying to reason with myself of whether he was captured or left.

"Maybe he's already at Groztough?" 

"Maybe." She sighed and looked back down at the table. 

"Alex, maybe you should get some sleep. And when you wake up, just call him and see where he is." I just slowly nodded my head. I wasn't even listening anymore though. She stood up and walked over to her closet and pulled out a page trench coat. "Anyway, I have work, You can stay here if you want."

"What do you work as?" I asked.

"I'm doing a couple of modeling gigs," Oh, damn really?

"Woah! That's awesome!" She smiled.

"Thanks. I'm just going to go to the mall to model some clothes. I won't be long," she said. Well okay, I just met a soon-to-be celebrity...that's cool...actually, pretty scary for me. I stood up out of my chair and walked over to her.

"Well that's really cool. I'm sure you'll be great," I said giving her a playful punch on the arm.

"Thanks," she said shyly. She quickly walked to the front door when she saw the news man drop the daily news paper on her porch. She picked it up, and only glanced at the headline before tossing it down on the table.

"What's the news about?" I asked.

"The story about the two guys that snuck on a train to get to Norgien, and how they started attacking people to get out, and how one was caught. But the other, well, let's just say he probably escaped. I'm sure you've heard about them." My heart stopped and I could feel my vision grow blurry from my head blaring No way! My fucking luck! She'll soon know I was one. Won't she? Wait a sec, did she just say 'one was caught'? I quickly nodded.

"How could I not know? I mean, I was there when it happened," I managed to say. My heart was pounding like a drum in my chest. 

"You saw it all happen?" She asked in amazement.

"Yeah. I was in the plaza when it happened." She raced to the table and sat down. 

"What happened? How did it go? What did they look like? Where did they go? How--"

"Yara," she stopped and instantly, and looked away embarrassed.

"Sorry," she muttered. I laughed, and she looked back up startled. "What?" She asked.

"I've never seen you so...all at once before." I said smiling. Her face instantly turned a bright shade of red, which made me laugh harder.

"Whatever," she said playfully shoving me away.

"And there's a paper right there about it!" I said.

"Yeah, but it's not the same as hearing it from someone who was there! The writers weren't. The only thing I know is how the guy looks." She saw Viktor? When?

"Yeah, the bald one, right?" She nodded. "I saw that guy, too. So did you see him in person running, or a picture?"

"Picture. The guards started showing us his picture to say he was caught. But the other guy wasn't caught, so they can't show his face to citizens to tell them who they're looking for," she pointed at the picture of Viktor. No, not picture, but pictures. One of him before his disguise, and one now. That means they know who he is! And now they're gonna do whatever they can to catch me! This is just great...

"They'd better find the other guy, too then. He can't go too far without his friend." Which in a way was true.

"What did he look like?" She asked.

"Well..." my eyes trailed over to the newspaper as I prayed there were no descriptions of me. Or else if I said something, and she read it, she'd know I lied. "I don't really know. I was too far from that guy. I only saw the bald one 'cause I saw him running in town, too." I wanted to reach for the news article so bad my hand was just itching!

Okay, I'll read the paper once she leaves. For now, I shouldn't even pay it too much mind.

"Well if you wanna know how it all started, the two dudes were hiding in a train car. Then, one of the guards started screaming and pointing like this," I stupidly imitated the guard that chased me and Viktor out of the car, making her crouch over and laugh at my lousy imitation. "Then they jumped out and ran all over the plaza, and one guy ran into the gate keeper, and they both ran out! Then the guards came back after making us all stay in, lookin' all pissed."

She was breathless now, and I for the first time in forever, I really felt light. I know I was lying to her, but for once it was nice to be treated like a normal person rather than someone on the run. I really took her image in, knowing that she'd be the last I got to be normal with. She makes it so easy to forget.