One Last Lie

Chapter 9

Life has been easier with Jakob around. Someone I was comfortable with, someone I could be myself around took off tons of stress off my chest. But everyday that went by was when I began worrying again. One day closer 'til he leaves. 

"So what are you gonna do? Since you said you can't leave," he said.

I shrugged. "I don't know. That's the problem. I'm trapped here, I'm not safe at all. I wish I could deliver to Viktor's wishes and all, but, I'm at the point where I don't think it's possible."

"Don't say that," I heard slight irritation in his tone.

"But if you think about it, it's true. I can't go anywhere." 

"So you're just gonna give up and get caught?" Yeah, he's pissed.

"I didn't say that," I said growing irritated. "I never said I wanted to give up. I'm saying look at the possibilities. How long do you honestly think I could go without being caught? One day? One week? It's inevitable. It's gonna happen sooner or later. The only way I could ensure safety is keep moving around, or leave Ominiski altogether."   

He nodded. "Yeah. And neither of those things are possible." I was glad he finally understood where I was coming from, but at the same time, I didn't want to hear that I was done for.

"What should I do?" Everyone but me had the closest thing to a solution. But not this time. Jakob slapped his pockets nervously and looked around.

"I don't know, Ace. I really wish I did, though. All I can give you is money. At least you'll have some to scrape by," he said pulling money from his pockets. 

"Thanks, but I think I'm gonna be staying here. Not like this'll be enough for a place to live," I said looking through the stack of money. 

"Yeah, but you can at least fix this place up. Get some food, some clothes," he said. "Which reminds me, I've brought some extra clothes you could use," he said tossing sweaters on a table.

"Yeah, but how am I gonna keep getting money? I can't get a job. That would be giving myself away."

"I forgot about that. But, don't worry, by the time the sun goes down, I'll have thought of something," he said wrapping coat around him. "In the meantime, why don't we start cleaning up? Make this place cozier. We don't need you dying cause this place is no different than outside," he stood up and headed outside, and I followed after him.

As we gathered wood from trees, he paused and said, "what if you don't hired, but you just go around town offering help?"

"What kind of help?"

"I don't know, but we did in Basik, raking leaves, or mowing lawns, I'm sure you'll find something," he said. That did seem like a good idea, but it was still risky. 

"But what if people recognize me? I'm not so sure that kind of exposure is going to help my case," he turned to me.

"That's the best idea I've got. No, I mean the only idea I've got. And it's the only chance you have you make something. You can't get a job, so what else is there?" He paused which had me relieved. Please be a good idea. "But I'll tell you what, what if I occasionally sent you some money, but you still have to find a way to make money somehow." 

"I don't know, Jakob. I can't just take your money," I said my heart dropping. It was bad enough I had him dragged out here, I couldn't take more from him, but he waved his hand. 

"Don't worry about it, I'll visit every now and then. It's no big deal. You can scratch financial issues off your list this way. You get money, and I'll bring some too, it's perfect!" He watched me, proud of what he came up with, waiting for my answer.

"Fine, but not too much."

                                                                                        ****

It was a restless night, yet again. I couldn't stop thinking about everything that happened today. Learning that my family was being held for questioning, Viktor's note, and Jakob losing half his life span after hearing about Yara.  I wish I had never met her. She was just one more thing I had to worry about.

Fed up with even trying to get some sleep, I sat up and retrieved Viktor's note, reading it a hundred times over. Don't get caught. Don't get caught. Don't be stupid. For the hundredth time, I wished I was like Viktor, just naturally calm. He wouldn't be panicking, so why am I? But how can't I? Then I remembered one more thing that would keep me worried. Isn't it Jakob's last day tomorrow?

                                                                                        ****

"So? You sleep a little lighter?" He asked me as we worked on rebuilding the cottage. 

"Sure. I mean, as light as I can sleep," I answered dead as ever.

"I know that this is tough, but don't even worry," he said laying his hand on my shoulder. "It'll just make it worse."

"I know, but try putting yourself in my position. Family is taken for questioning by government, I'm living in hiding, and the odds are totally agaisnt me, and I gotta worry about Viktor? He's getting executed, and I'm supposed to live with that?" 

"I know, but it's all I can say. I'm really sorry that this had to happen, but now that it's done, you can't do much about it, other than try to pull through. I know times get frustrating, and you just feel sick of it all, and decide you should turn yourself in, but you heard Viktor right?" He asked hopefully.

"Punishment's worse if they find me first, you know?" He set down the logs he was carrying.

"Are you tellin' me you plan to turn yourself in?" His voice dropped to a nervous whisper. I avoided his eye, and shrugged.

"I don't even know what I mean to tell you." Which was true, I really didn't know what I wanted anymore.

I was tired of fighting over something I felt I had no control over, living in hiding is worse than anyone could imagine, that it felt like there was no point in trying to live anymore. But at the same time, I didn't want to have to face the consequences that I deserved. And the worst part about the whole situation was that I know fully well that I deserve the consequences.

"Ace, you can't be serious," he said, his voice raising out of anger.

"Tell me why. Because Viktor said so? Yeah, I wish I could listen to that, but you don't understand shit, Jakob! Imagine how much easier this would be for everyone else if I just did end this stupid never-ending chase, even easier for you!" I shouted jamming my palms into his chest.

"What the hell are you talkin' about?"

"I wouldn't have to drag you out here, you wouldn't be watched by the police, if you frequently come to Norgien, you'll get yourself and me into trouble! They'll be certain I'm here, then we'll both be arrested. How smart is Viktor's plan sounding now?" When he said nothing, I added, "not to mention my family."

"Are you really going to go?" He asked slowly.

"I don't know. I don't want to, but I know it's the better thing to do. Me being here is making things harder for everyone else. In fact, I don't even know if it was a good idea that you came out here," I said regretfully. 

"Hey, Ace?" He started. "I'm already pretty involved in this mess. I know this is gonna be real hard. But can you tell me what happened?"

I should have known this would happen at some point. He does deserve to know, doesn't he? I just wish I could have seen my own face after he asked the question. But this time, I didn't care that I would sound like a monster, I just didn't want to relive the memories. My head immediately began to feel heavy and foggy when I let the memories flood back into my brain.

"Alright, I'll tell you."