When the Leaves Fall | ✓

f o r e l s k e t

f o r e l s k e t

(n.) the euphoria you feel when you are first falling in love

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I have this feeling when I look at you, and I think it's more than a feeling because it continues even when I don't look at you. When I see you, there's something that blossoms in my chest: this idea, this mindset, this outlook -- that everything  is beautiful. And when we part, I keep thinking that everything is warm and fresh and lovely. There's an infinite amount to find joy in: the clouds that drift across the sky, the cold nose of my dog, the soft chatter in a crowded place. Life -- life itself, in all its sprawling complexity -- gets simplified because of your presence in my reality.

And even when you're not around, I smile. Because you exist. It's more than that I get to experience your presence; it's that the world is renewed with hope because a presence like you dwells in it. I relish in it. I see potential for everyone else. The traffic lights don't bother me, the cold is playful instead of bitter, and when I see another person, I am warmed because I hold you like a talisman against bad thoughts. You flood my thoughts, and suddenly I want to be worthy of you. It's not because I consider myself inferior, but because I am inspired to reach the peak of my own excellence. So my thoughts naturally become gentler and sweetened with the pure flush of love.

Is it love? Is it love that makes me want to be around you all the time, even should the circumstances be bad? Is it love that brings a smile to my face at the strangest of times, and has people wondering what secret I hold in my heart? Is it love that I want to stay here, in this innocence and simplicity of burgeoning affection?

Maybe it is -- but it doesn't need to be defined. This is the feeling that makes you start singing in the shower, maybe off-tune and combining in haphazard arrangement a variety of unrelated songs, but it makes you sing. And it's the feeling that causes you to, on an ordinary night, look up at the sky and marvel at the sequence of the stars. It's because of this feeling that sometimes you pause throughout the day, and look away from what you're concentrating on, and feel this rush of contentment and sheer pleasure -- because you know you are falling in love with a good person.