Game Over (Harry Lewis/Sidemen fan fic)

Letters

Ash's POV.
I sat in the corner of a dimly lit restaurant. The scent of fresh steak wafted in from the kitchen a few yards to my right. If I looked closely through the thick, distorted, orange glass I could just barely see the window where waiters were picking up orders. From there I could see into the kitchen. It was chaotic, but an organized chaos. The kind that you wanted in your life, where everything was exciting and rolling just right. The only problem with organized chaos, was that it needed to be consistent in every corner of your life. If one person slipped up even a little, the entire security of each pristine plate could tumble down and shatter in a thousand porcelain white fragments.

"Ash?" I looked up to see Tommy in a cream colored suit. His facial hair was trimmed and he wore a hat on to cover his hair, or lack thereof.

I stood up, flattening my black dress as I did, "uncle Tommy," we hugged briefly before sitting back down, "so are you going to tell me why this conversation needs to be held over a fancy meal?"

Tommy huffed, "why don't we wait on the business. For now I want to enjoy this moment with my girl."

I smile, "that sounds good to me. I ordered a bottle of wine if that's alright?"

"Ah, yes. I forgot your mama was part Italian, raised you to be a wine drinker."

"If I remember correctly, you drink wine ever holiday and birthday."

Tommy laughed, "I never said that was a bad feature."

I laughed along with him, the darkness in the room suddenly getting a bit brighter. I had forgotten what it was like to sit amongst family. Though technically Tommy isn't related to me and has never been a legal guardian of me, I would always consider him my uncle. He fought beside my dad in Afghanistan and Iraq, he took care of my mom and I when my dad was overseas. Even from beyond the grave I'm sure my dad would consider him to be as much family to me as he himself was.

For a long while we talked over a few glasses of wine and an appetizer about life his life in the desert had been and about my life in London. He asked so many questions, but the one he asked repeatedly was; "Are you happy?" He asked one more time as the waiter left with our order.

"Of course," I shrugged, "I haven't had Lamb since I was fifteen, even if it's terrible I'll still be glad I ordered it."

Tommy shook his head solemnly, "That's not what I meant."

I took a sip of the wine, swirling it in the basin of the glass before gently breathing in the scent of it. I set down the soft glass, running my thumb along the smooth edges of the stem. I studied the magnificent crystal wishing that everything in life could be as clear as the chalice in front of me.

"It used to depend on the day, Tommy." I looked up into his old light eyes, a thousand memories of my life in London coming back in an instant, "It used to be that I was miserable unless I was walking home after a night shift, and the only reason I wasn't miserable then, what because I knew that it meant you could see the stars here and I used to love looking at the stars. Before, I was just in a constant loop of hating life because I wasn't 'home'. But honestly Tommy... the more I look back on it the more I realize that wasn't really a home for me anywhere. I wasn't craving to come back here because I liked it here, I wanted to come back here because I thought I could build a home here.

"Then a drunk idiot stumbled into the game store one night and I realized that home doesn't have to be where you were raised or where the bones of your family is. Home is wherever you build it. I have a best friend and amazing roommate, a crazy group of friends, a job offer waiting for me when I get back, and an amazing guy willing to go through it all with me. So yes, Tommy, now I am completely and utterly happy."