Rosie

Empty

Emily's POV

        "Leave me alone!!! I don't want to talk to anyone!!!" The blonde girl slammed the door. Crying, she collapsed onto the floor, kicking and screaming. "This is not fair, not fair, not fair" As she laid there her phone lit up and the sweet ringtone filled the whole room, the whole house, with a melody that somehow seemed happier than everyone in it – it was Emily's girlfriend calling – she had an effect on her that would always calm her down but not this time. "What do you want Sarah?" Emily didn't try to hide how empty she felt, she didn't even try to stop her tears, no, not anymore. She didn't have to pretend she was strong, she was everything but strong now. "I just want to check up on you baby... How are you?" "How the fuck do you think I am?!" Emily screamed throwing her phone at the wall. She hugged herself and cried, cried until she wasn't able to breathe, cried until she felt no more pain and even though she thought crying would help her it only made it worse. The memories flooded her head once again and the only person that she could think about right now was Rosie. 'How could she leave me! How could she!' Her thoughts were louder than the ringing phone or her mum's voice trying to calm her down. Those things were so faint, so far away and no matter how hard Emily tried she could not reach them and honestly she wasn't bothered.

        She took her cracked phone with her trembling hands and slowly visited the place that she was too scared to visit for the last week. She scrolled up to see the conversations with her tears falling in a monotonous routine and landing on her screen. 'If you were to compare me to something this screen would be a pretty accurate representation' She thought as she pressed her finger against it almost as if she was trying to mend it. 'I love you, I'm never gonna leave you', 'You're my whole world I don't know what I would do without you', 'Thank you for being my best friend', 'You make me so happy'. "Bullshit!!!" Emily screamed trying to control her anger as her punches landed on the wall – one, two, three. Suddenly her whole hand was bleeding, but she didn't care, no, not at all. The pain of her loss was greater than any other she would experience and no matter how hard she tried to make the next punches they were still unable to hurt her enough.

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           "Would you like to tell me how you're feeling right now?" The therapist sat in front of Emily with her hands crossed drinking her tea. "Would you like to tell me how you would feel if I spilled that tea? I feel that only about million times worse." The girl crossed her legs on the chair hugging her phone closer, not even looking at the therapist. She couldn't bare to look at anyone, especially not herself. "Are you feeling angry?" "Well of course I'm fucking feeling angry" The blonde girl messed with her hair not caring about the way she was talking. She didn't care about anything anymore, there was no point. She wiped her tears with the back of her hoodie still not looking up. "Language Emily! I understand –" "-No you do not fucking understand and I will talk the way I want to talk" She stood up and stormed out slamming the door behind her as she run into her dad. "Shh I'm here Emily, I'm here" He pulled her into a tight hug and even though she was resisting he wouldn't let her go – he knew her the best and he knew he couldn't. After a while standing there, the girl finally relaxed and let her body weight fall on her father crying and crying as if all of the water from every sea, every ocean just landed in her eyes. There was no hint of happiness in them, there was nothing but pain that somehow was visible even from miles away. They weren't the eyes of someone who had hope, they weren't the eyes of someone who had seen the light. They were a beautiful mess and with every tear the pain was reflected like light. "Let's go home" Her dad picked her up and took her into a car putting her favorite band on – Lost in the dark.

'And if you can hear me,

I wanna let you know I'm with you,

I will never let you go,

Believe me.

I know I was gone too soon,

But I'm with you,

I love the little things about you,

I love you.

I know you're sad,

But don't worry,

I'm here....

I'm here...

I'm here...

To guide you through the night'