ᑕᖇᗴᗯ丅 ᗝᑎᗴ-ᔕᕼᗝ丅ᔕ

I Need To Leave This Paradise

                                  Credence was wide awake, he couldn't sleep. He did it. He actually did it. He lost control and almost killed Newt. Newt was all he had and all he ever has had. He promised, he promised Newt he would control it. Newt promised him, he promised Credence if he lost control he would not hurt him. He guessed both of those promises were broken. He laid in the bed him and Newt shared, staring up at the ceiling. Newt was smiling slightly in his dream. His head bandaged, his arms bandages, legs, chest, stomach. Yet, he was still smiling. He didn't dare to look at Newt. It's been three days since he lost control and attacked everything and everyone in his path. He would not talk to Newt. He kept total silence. He sat up and looked over at the bedroom door. The moonlight danced gracefully in the room that was slowly haunting him. He should leave. He should leave and never come back. If he died or disappeared, no one would even notice he was gone. No one ever did. Everyone would be at peace. He would not hurt anyone anymore. All of these thoughts made his anxiety high; it ate him up inside. He was sick of hurting people, he was sick of himself. He only begged for help so he couldn't hurt anyone anymore. He hated himself, despised himself. Tears started to form in his eyes, his heart breaking. He held his head and gripped his hair. He wanted to scream out loud, he just wanted everyone to be safe from him. Obscurus. Freak. Squib. Burden. He sat up and walked over to Newt's desk, looking at the paper and pen he kept perfectly placed in the middle. He liked to keep things steady and organized. Credence sighed and picked up the pen, he felt guilty as Hell because the paper and pen was Newt's. He started to write a goodbye note to him. His aching heart made his tears threaten to form, rolling down his cheeks. By the time he finished, he was already rushing away. He was careful not to swing the door open, his depression and anxiety was so high it felt like he was already in his Obscurus form. A mooncalf watched Credence closely as he was headed off to who knows where. He thought anywhere was good, just as long as he doesn't hurt anyone anymore. The Mooncalf frolicked over to him curious, catching up to him. It made a whining noise for attention. Credence flinched and looked over at the creature. The Mooncalf quickly made a happy noise and snuggled up to him as he was still walking, trying to keep up while snuggling.

"N-No, s-stop... g-go back to sleep..." he begged the Mooncalf. It made the poor Obscurus male feel even more guilty by letting out a cry and biting his pant leg. It jumped back a few times and yanked on his pant leg. Credence screeched and fell over on his side. Face first to the ground. Of course, he wasn't mad. He was never mad at anything or anyone. If he was, it was because he was mad at himself. He sighed frustrated and got up, looking over at it. It mimicked his screeched. Credence glared a little at the Mooncalf.

"... I-I have to leave ... I-I don't want to hurt you either ..." he said and stood up. He sniffled and wiped away his tears. The Mooncalf calmed down and it's ears drooped It started whining again at Credence, then started crying. Credence rushed away again.

"D-Don't you dare think you're going anywhere!!" Newt yelled at him, limping over to him. He hurt like Hell, but he would always manage. He had a firm gripped onto the note Credence wrote, a look of pure panic in his eyes. Credence looked over at him, not saying a word to him. Ah yes, the cycle of silence. You know what they say. Violence causes silence.

My dearest Newt Scamander,

I cannot keep this up anymore. I'm sick of hurting people, that's all I have ever accomplished in life and nothing more. Ever since I was born, they had a right to say that I was a demon. I'm an Obscurus freak. They only care about my power. I'm so sorry that you have met me, you're too good and pure. I won't be a burden to you any longer and you will not have to take care of me every day of your life. Thank you for trying to give me all the happiness in the world and everything I desire. All I ever shall ask of you is to please continue your work and succeed in your dreams without me. I want to be the one who gives you all the happiness in the world and everything you desire. You are destined to be something great, while I, my dear zoologist, am nothing more than a power source of depression that will never heal. I shall leave this paradise that I've grown attached to. I will not return. I'm so sorry.