Nyctophilia [Yoongi/suga]

Gone

Trying to forget someone
You love
Is like trying to remember someone
You've never met

•

Saturday 29 October, 2pm

What's happening? The boy? He's lying there, with foam spreading from his mouth. He's clutching a bottle of pills which is empty. No!

I ran up to him and tried to find a heart beat. I couldn't waste any more time so I grabbed my phone and dialled for an ambulance.
"Hello what is your emergency?"
"This b-boy, he t-tried to kill himself with an o-overdose. W-were in moonlight g-gardens. Please hurry."

I ended the call after that and went to the boy and hugged him. I knew he needed help. I knew I should have done something. Why did I let it be?! I might be too late now...

Soon paramedics came into the park and came over to the boy while pushing me out the way. I looked over at what they were doing. They were injecting him with something, but they said they couldn't find a heartbeat. I felt my heart drop when they said that.

Just then something else they said caught my attention.
"-identified as Min Yoongi" huh? That's his name? I guess even if he dies. I won't forget him. I will always remember him. No matter what. Because I loved him, even if we only talked once.

Soon the paramedics left without saying a word to me. Can't they tell me what hospital he is going to?

I walked home. I hate him but love him. I love him because we were so similar. I hate him because he tried to leave me.

Saturday 20 November, 2pm

He's not came to the park. I've checked every hospital in my city. He's no where. Is he really . . . Dead? It can't be. I can't face the truth.

I've waited so long, and he never comes. I guess me and him just weren't meant for this world.

Christmas, 1am

I've decided to move out. I don't want to be reminded of him every time I walk out my door just because of the cobbled pathways. I need to forget him. I can't admire someone that is dead, he is like a star now.

I remembered that paper that was lying on the ground. I dug around in my pocket till I found it.
Dear Kim Ara...
You probably wonder how I know your name, well, you were wearing a work badge every time I saw you.
Kim Ara
It's a very beautiful name.
I don't know if you have found me yet but when you do, I don't want you to be sad, don't miss me, I'm not worth it.
I left because, this world is cruel.
The stories my mum used to tell me till she died about how amazing the world is, how you can do whatever you want.
When I became older I realised that this world, it's just full of sin.
This world isn't made for me.
Everyone has there own fight, I tried to keep fighting but it got too much for me.
The loneliness, the depression, the names.
Even my dad would beat me till I was black and blue.
Don't cry over me.
I want you to find someone that can make you happy.
There is no use to holding onto someone that is no longer here. Just like how people admire stars.
Yes, I was there every night. At the park. I could see you suffering and I tried my best not to go up and hug you and tell you it will all be ok when I knew I was going to die soon.
I wanted to leave this world in a place where I found happiness, the park.
I hope you can find your happiness.

Love Yoongi xx

I need to forget...