Perception

prologue

falling in love is never expected.

It can happen anywhere and at any time.
One moment, you are mindless
going through your daily routine,
not looking up at people as they pass by thinking about everything and nothing at the same time,
and then out of nowhere, It happens.

You look up and see that person.
And all of a sudden you
wake up.
The world is colorful again.
It's painted with skittles
and is made up of thousands of suns.
And lord, you're alive.
And it takes one look.
A simple 'hello'.
All it takes is a flutter of heart
or a handshake that feels so much like a kiss.

If you look closely,
You can find love where you go.
And somehow,
you can allow yourself to fall for someone
who hasn't asked for your name yet,
And it takes one stranger
to make you come alive again.
And all it takes is one simple smile
to light your world back on fire.

But the thing is, maybe you're not that type of person.
Maybe you're not looking to fall in love.
You don't like the fact that every time you see this person you feel the butterflies,
see the colors, feel the love.
you don't like it, you hate it.
some people don't believe in commitment,
like you.

you just like to have fun,
but it doesn't go that way.
you're actually falling for this person
that you know nothing about.
You know nothing about this person
but you feel the love, ALREADY.
You never believed in that love at first sight type of love until you actually felt it.
At this point, you're shook because you actually have butterflies, like you actually smile looking at that person.
You know nothing about this person except their name, but you want to know.
You hate that you want to know, so now you shut it down.
you don't like that love stuff,
you like to have fun.

You like to experience.
New things, new people,
But all of it seems useless
now that you're feeling this person you know nothing about.
" the fuck is happening to me? " you may think daily.
Now you're angry, more scared that you actually like somebody.
so you're stuck, just stuck.

On the other hand, other people.
The good ones.
You like this feeling of feeling someone.
Just thinking about that person makes you smile.
You dig deep, you try as hard as you can to get what you want.
No? You don't like that. No is not an answer for you because you feel like you don't know about something unless you actually learn about it.
So you learn.

You sense bad from this person,
but you don't care, it only makes you want to learn more.
You don't care about anything but getting that person you want.
No matter how many rejections you get
you still try.

You try, you try, you try,
and you don't stop, you won't stop.
You believe that deep down, you can do it.
So you try again, and again and again.
You're no quitter, you get what you want.
The only thing is you always seem to embarrass yourself.
You try speaking but nothing comes out,
Your mouth is moving
but nothing comes out so now,
You're panicking.
How does this person you barely know make you feel so nervous?
You're in trouble.

You both are.
—

Diamond washes hands, the blood resistant against the water. She grabs a bar of soap, scrubbing her hands until red bubbles form. She rinses them away hoping to rinse away the memory with it. She turns the water up and winces at the burning heat.