A Mother's Love : Rewritten

Numb

A/N: Sorry for the delay. Life sort of got in the way of writing and posting. Hope you enjoy.
Thanks as always to my beta Jennifer. She makes my chaotic writings into something readable.

For the first time in history, I Sang Sorenson skipped school. I was too exhausted both mentally and physically to even try and brave the chaos that was Ashley Waters High. Besides, no one expected you go to school after your Mom had been sent to the hospital, right? At least that would be my explanation if Dad ever found out. If he even cared enough to say anything about it anyway. I stayed in my bed where I slept fitfully off and on for the rest of the morning and part of the afternoon, until my grumbling stomach had me crawling out of bed and down the stairs to the kitchen.

I made a grilled apple and cheese sandwich, washing it down with a glass of water then cleaned up on autopilot. My mind was on repeat, thinking over everything that had happened in the past 24 hrs. So much had happened, and I honestly had no idea how to react to any of it. I had been forced to endure so much by the woman I had believed to be my mother. I never understood her reactions or her punishments, but I alway told myself and Liza that she was my mother and she was sick. Now to know that everyone, even the one person who I had always been able to count on had been lying to me my entire life.. It had made my world turn upside down, and I had no idea which way to go. I couldn’t even muster up enough energy to feel angry or betrayed or even sad. It was like my heart had frozen with the rest of my body in the shower. But unlike how my limbs had slowly started to warm up, my heart remained cold and numb. I knew it was broken and hurt and confused, but all I could feel was a deep, cold nothing and it honestly scared me.

The rest of the day I remained in my room only coming out for the bathroom and for something to eat. Occasionally I would hear Marie doing the same thing, but we never spoke to each other, and we stayed out of each other’s way. Liza never showed up either. I couldn’t decide if this was a good or bad thing. On one hand, I wanted answers, but I honestly did not think I could handle anything else today, tomorrow or even next week. I just wanted to stay up here in my room and never leave again. I had just removed my journal from its hiding place when a strange noise startled me. I looked around the room in confusion, trying to figure out what it was I’d just heard was that music? I followed the sound over to my bedside table and pulled out the drawer. Ringing from inside its box was the phone Luke had given me.

I stared at it, debating whether I wanted to deal with them right now. Then I remembered I didn’t show up at school and knew if I didn’t give them some sort of acknowledgment that I was alive, I would have a house full of guys, and I did not want to deal with that today. With a sigh, I picked up the box and opened it to reveal a jingling iphone. Kota’s name was in big white letters on the caller ID, and I made a face before swiping my finger across the green icon.

“Hello?” My voice came out scratchier than I intended, and I winced.

“Sang?” Kota’s calm voice filled the room, and surprisingly, I didn’t feel anything. Just the same detached feeling I’d had all day. It was a relief in this instance, otherwise I doubt I would have been able to have this conversation with him.

“Hey, Kota.” I heard a heavy sigh and then the voices of the others in the background talking over each other.

“Sang, why were you not at school today?”

“Why do you care?” I asked instead of answering his question.

“Sang, come on, we care about you, we just don’t want you—

“Getting hurt, yeah yeah I heard the speech already,” I interrupted him. I needed to end this call before he started asking questions. There was no way I was letting him know everything only for him and his friends to swoop in and “save the stray.” They had more “important” things to do. Huh, maybe I could still feel a tiny bit of bitterness after all.