Escape

Hard to Resist

The alarm woke me earlier than usual this morning, I was excited.

Reaching for my phone, there was a message waiting to be opened.

Reading it, I gasped.

It was from Lee, 'You obviously don't want to go through with it. I still love you. Can't you see, you're wasting your life needing something you don't want.'

I rewound my mind back to last night. What had I been thinking? I had to see him, correct him as to what he thought last night was about. My mind was all over the place. My sister was due to arrive soon to help me get ready, but things had to be prioritised, and I wouldn't be long at Lee's with what I had to tell him.

Quickly getting ready, I was out of the door and in the car before doing anything else.

Agitated, I turned the key in the car. It started with the first turn, something was going my way.

Outside his home, I remained in the car, taking a deep breath, before knocking on his door.

As I waited for him to open the door, I hopped from one foot to the other, waiting to tell him what I had came for last night.

The door opened, and I looked up at him. My God, I can see why I had went out with him, and why he was the type to play the field. He had always used his good looks to get what he wanted. I used to tell myself, it would never work on me, but somehow, he got under my skin and soon him and I were lovers

As I pushed myself into his house without being asked, he said, 'Hi Chloe. What are you doing here?'

'What do you mean about sending my this text?' I asked. 'You know this is supposed to be the biggest day of my life. Why are you trying to ruin it?'

'You did that all by yourself last night.'

I looked at him, confused.

'If Stephen was the man you wanted to spend the rest of your life with, why did you come looking for me last night?'

'I wanted to ask you to leave me alone. I've seen the way you look at me since we split. I know you have always wanted me and your never happy with any woman you had after me.'

'Don't be full of yourself. You have always wanted me just as much as I've wanted you. Last night proved that.'

I shake my head. 'Last night, I came here to let go of the past,' I said. 'I wanted to tell you that I'm happy and will never be yours.'

'So why did you sleep with me?'

'You knew how much I used to like you and you used that to your advantage.'

'Why come here dressed the way you did? You flirted with me, making it difficult for me to refuse. Why all the make up? Why that low cut top and short skirt you knew I always liked?'

I gulped. Why had I dressed so flirtatiously? 'I was out for a few hours. I wanted to have fun before my big day.'

'But why come to my home?'

'I wanted...' I was unable to finish. I now realised that last night was a bad idea and he had read all sorts of things into it, but I had a right to dress as I like when I go out. Even the night before my wedding.

Lee smirked. 'Still unable to face the truth that you still want me?' he asked, moving towards me.

Within touching distance, he reached out his hand to touch my face, turning it to run the back of it down my face.

I swerved my head to the left to try and avoid it, but was too slow.

'You still can't resist me?'

As sure as ever, he knew he could use any woman he wanted. Use them to have his way, knowing they would always go back for more. I had made myself a promise that when the both of us finished, I would never see him again on my own, but last night I had been drunk. I had hoped it would have done the talking for me. Tell him what I really thought, but instead....

'And they say when a person is under the influence of alcohol they always speak the truth,' Lee said. 'You certainly did last night. The way you came onto me as soon as I opened that door. Boy, I never stood a chance.'

I shook my head.

He flipped his hand so his palm began to stroke my face.

The feel of his warm, rough, hand bought back many pleasant memories and I drifted back to how he had used them to stroke me everywhere. As my breath started to quicken; my heart rate galloping. I was unable to resist any further as I moved my lips to his palm.

'Still want me?,' he said, raising his eyebrows. He got me, before I knew it, we were halfway up the stairs and the bedroom door was slammed shut.....

As we left the bedroom, I imagined Stephen standing at the altar. Why had I lied to myself? I didn't want Stephen. I had to tell him the truth. With my mobile phone in my hand and Lee nibbling my neck, I text, 'I'm sorry but I can't go through with our wedding. You deserve better than me. I'll always love you as a friend, but I can never love you - not in the way you'd want me to.'

I knew that when he read it, he would be angry, but I didn't want to live a lie anymore. I was only with him for the security, and it was time for me to stop lying to myself and others.