Home is where the heart is (Berena)

Chapter Six

With Serena watching Bernie's movement from the window, Bernie sighed while smoking her cigarette knowing full well that she was being watched by Serena. The blonde looked over at the bench that was by the door and decided to walk over to it, once she by the bench shesat down and got herself comfortable while she smokes her cigarettes. As Bernie was sat there comfortably she reached into her coat pocket to reach her phone then remembering that Serena had her phone in her bag so she just sat there watching everyone leave and re-enter the building.

As Serena was sat in the waiting room she was starting to worry about Bernie as would normally come straight back inside after having a cigarette, But this time she never, Serena sighed and opened her bag to get her or Bernie's phone to check the time, as she lifted her phone which was on top of Bernie's , Bernie's phone lit up with amessage, she didn't unlock the phone to read properly she just looked at it from the lock screen, as she didn't know the number but had a-slight feeling that Bernie did know the number.

After being outside for fifteen minutes, Bernie finally decided it was timeto go inside the building, she stepped inside and looked at the the visitors book seeing her name then slowly walked over to Serena, who gave the blonde a smile.

"Hey,You took your time? Everything okay?"

The blonde sat down next her and looked at Serena , giving her a nod

"Yeah,everything is fine, why wouldn't it be?" Bernie replied with a question

"you just took longer then you normally do"

"Oh,I just spent some-time thinking , you know to clear my head"

"Oh I see getting ready for the questions that he's going to ask you?"

"Yeah you could say that.."

Serena nodded , and checked her phone again as she was debating to tell Bernie that she had a text , Bernie knew that Serena was hiding something from her

"What's the matter?" Bernie asked

"Nothing Why?"

"You seem to be hiding something?"

"Yes You are, now tell me what are you hiding?"

"I've just told you , I'm not hiding anything"

"Then why are you looking like you are?" She snapped, she didn't mean to she was just anxious about this session, Serena sighed and dug through her bag to find Bernie's phone.

"Alright fine, you had a text message from someone..."

"You went on my phone?" Bernie asked while raising her eyebrow

"No not really..."

"Why do you mean by that?"

"I-read it from the lock screen... but who was it? As the number wasn'tsaved"

"Can I have a look?"

"Promise your not gonna walk out of here before your appointment?"

"Like i'm gonna do that"  Bernie replied rolling her eyes a little and paused  "I promise"

Serena nodded and got out Bernie's phone and handed it to her , Bernie took-it and unlocked it and looked at the message

"Hey,hows it going I miss you"

Bernie read it and knew instantly it was from Alex , her ex that she had a fling with when she was back in the army, she slid the message across and deleted the message as she didn't want Serena to find out what happened in Ukraine.

Bernie looked at the time and sighed "well he's late, this is a waste Of time" She muttered quietly before hearing footsteps coming closer to the waiting room not knowing it was her Psychotherapist who-was about to greet her, Bernie started to get more anxious so she got up and walked over to the window, looking out of it trying to reach her happy place just like the Psychotherapist told her to.

As Berenice was looking out the window she clinched her fists as she started to have one of her episodes where her hands would go sweaty, Serena looked over and went over to her and gently put both her hands on Bernie's shoulders

"Hey your safe , I'm here, I'm not going leave you I promise " Serena said softly , while she rubbed her shoulders to calm her down a little, for some reason , Bernie found comfort in Serena's touch and started to get her breathing and her vision back before turning to face Serena as she was about to speak.

"I'm sorry"

"There's no need to be" Serena smiled softly before kissing Bernie's forehead

*An hour later*

Bernie and Serena was sat in the consultation room with Bernie's Psychotherapist, he smiled over at Serena before looking back over at Bernie who wasn't saying anything but was fidgeting with her hands as she was getting anxious as it was the first appointment that she had someone with her, Serena saw and put her hand on Bernie's leg to let her know that she was still there.

David the Psychotherapist, began to speak just to see where the conversation would go with Bernie, he wrote a few notes on his pad of paper

"How are you today Bernie?" He asked finishing a few of his notes and put his pen down on his pad.

Bernie started to think about the question and responded "I'm okay" she said covering up that she wasn't as she kept thinking this session was a waste of her time.

"Are you sure?"

Bernie gave a nod just before shaking her head "I don't know.." she said looking at Serena who had noticed her mood swings. "It's hard to explain" she said looking at David.

"Can you try to explain it for me?" He said picking up his metal ball point pen that he was writing with

"Not really... I keep feeling anxious and my hands get sweaty?"

David nodded and wrote down what Bernie was telling him and nodded to show Bernie that he was listening to her, as he was about to ask another question both Bernie and Serena's pagers went off, The Blonde looked over at Serena "I'll go.." she said getting up

Serena took her arm softly and pulled her back down as Serena got up gathering her stuff "no, you stay here, you've done enough, look come to mine afterwards"

Bernie sighed feeling disappointed and watched Serena apologise to David before leaving the room and headed back to the reception and signed out and got into her car, driving back to Holby and went to the AAU looking at Fletch "What's the problem?"

"There's been a major car crash, first lot of patients are on there way now, We might need Bernie to.."

Serena looked at him "no I'm sure we can manage without her" she said not wanting to add more stress on to her as she was already finding it hard to cope with her recent diagnosis from the doctor who also recommended her to see a Psychotherapist. Fletch nodded watching her as he handed her a file of the first patient that had just been brought in.

"Bed number four please Fletch" She said as she walked into the office to take her coat off and hung up her bag, she walked towards the patient sighing a little knowing that Bernie was disappointed with her , Soon Serena started to examine the patient for any internal bleeding or pains to the chest.

Now that Bernie was alone with David she slowly started to open up about her feelings towards work and Serena , David listened to her while she explained in a little more detail, he waited for her finish explaining so he could ask her some more questions , she answered them the best she could.

Back at Holby Serena had scrubbed in, as her first patient needed surgery as she found internal bleeding on his stomach area, as soon as she was ready she began to operate, she was still thinking about Bernie's appointment and wanted to be there to pick her up when her appointment was over , but also thought about making Her some dinner to say sorry for leaving her like that.

David was about to ask Bernie a question after letting her lie down on sofa , so that she felt a little bit more comfortable, she had both her arms folded and rested them on her chest.

"Have you ever wanted to kill yourself due to the nightmares that you've been having?" David asked from the questions he jotted down on his note pad earlier, The blonde looked over at him who was about to say no before hesitating.