Her Thoughts

Gone

Ever since you left

Everything started changing

Slowly at first,

then all at once

It's like no one cares

None stops to think would you approve of this.

And I'm left here remembering

Wondering, how different things would've been had you been here

They said time would heal my wounds,

Time would stitch them up real nice

Time would let me forget...

What they don't understand is, 

unlike them

I don't want to forget.

I want to hold on to these threads,

To the faintest memories

I want to remember the smiles,

The laughs and jokes and the beautiful words.

I want to remember the tears and the hurt and the ugly things.

I don't want to let it go.

What we had was beautiful and pure,

Perfect in its own imperfect way.

I miss you, you know?

I miss sitting beside you while you talked,

I miss hearing your tales of old times,

of a better life and purer intentions.

I know I used to say it wasn't true,

I used to argue that our time is good too.

I now know I was wrong.

And you, as usual, were right.

Things have changed since you left,

Or shall I say, people did

They're not the same,

I don't know if it's grief that made them this way

Or if your presence was a chain that had them on their best behavior.

A chain that broke once you left.

Now they're like wild beasts,

cruel and horrible.

I don't like this.

I miss the time you were around.

I really do.

I'm sorry I wasn't there to say goodbye.

I was a coward.

I thought it was its own kind of strength back then.

But now I woke up from that dream.

That illusion that I was the strong one.

Now I know I was a weak coward who couldn't say goodbye.

I hope you forgive me.

I hope you're not too mad at me.

I swear, I didn't mean to not say goodbye.

You just left without giving me the time and date.

Please don't forget me.

I love you.

Always did, and will always do.