everything I didn't say.

8.

I'm just a scared little girl, but I've never been afraid of my own shadow.

That was a thing that comforted me, made me less lonely, gave me someone to talk to that couldn't leave this time.

There's thoughts in my brain that are darker than I've ever told anyone. There's parts of me that I never want to see daylight, I don't even tell my own shadow.

There's parts of me that are dark, and I've only ever wanted to be light. I've only ever wanted to love and help people. So that's all I've ever done, regardless of what's inside.

Regardless of the pain inside.

None one knows me, and it's always been the biggest insult to me when people make assumptions about me when they've never gotten to know me, or I've never let them.

There's one person who for some reason wants to know me. They've seen me more than anyone. It's terrifying letting people in.

I've come to learn that I'm an open book until I'm not, until I close it shut if you get to far in and then that's it. That's enough. Don't go any farther.

I've always wanted to let you in fully. I've always wanted to let you know me fully. It's going to take a while, but I will.

It hurts being locked up in my own head.

I don't know my words sound stupid and chaotic like always, because my brain never quits fucking moving.

I don't even understand myself.