SEVEN || BTS

Chapter 4-真空电话

The salty air whispered into my ears as I fell for its divine lies.

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The cliff that I was standing on wasn't too high. It was no where near Mount Everest or Mount Fuji; but it gave you enough shivers down the spine to make you gasp in awe.
It certainly made me realise how clustered the city is, oppressing us inside its walls. There were small rocks and pebbles falling into the ocean below, the water sang its lullaby as I admired the sun in the distance. It wasn't setting and it wasn't rising, just high enough in the air. Or shall I say the earth was in the perfect position right now.

I took another deep breath in, the salty scent filling my lungs. With each breath I took I moved one step towards the edge. It wasn't long before I was balancing at the very end, the very tip of my toes over looking the water below me.

The sky was a perfect mixture of turquoise and baby blue, the green trees just before this cliff complemented on the scenery, the smell of pine mixed with salt at some point, but the salt always won.

It was an over salted dish that looked nice. No one wanted to eat it after they tried it.

It looked so welcoming, the pantagruelian mass of H2O that splashed against the base of rock and mud.
I though about everything at this point. The world that I was leaving behind and the world I was entering. The people that bought me here. The people that would take me out of here.

The tourists that would find what I would leave behind.

The feeling of wanting to fly. To fly right off into the sky. But I didn't want my wings to fall apart the closer I got to the sun, I wanted them to grow stronger and stronger as I left.

There was a person that taught me what this feeling was called, "L'appel du Vide" as they described it to me in French. They did not know French, a rather interesting way to learn this though. He was always intrigued in cinematic art. He'd watch anything. But then he stopped. And when he thought me this, it was the last thing he said to me. Just like the way the person that taught him, left him behind.
It was a domino effect.

I dangled my foot seeing the blue background as I focused on the dirty untied laces that don't even look white anymore. But it didn't matter the ocean could wash them for me.

I walked back, towards the fence with the bold broken sign that stated in red letters "not to climb over the fence" and " do not approach the edge of the cliff"
I broke two rules with one stone and it felt good to do bad once in a while, there would be no judge here to pass judgement on me, no teachers to give me detention and parents to send me to the corner to reflect upon my acts.
That sign was written for drunk idiots who don't know any better than to listen to written words, as for me, I have a clear decision... a goal that I need to achieve.

I took my camera out, I knew this cliff was a tourist destination, with views like these; fluffy pastel clouds and vibrant blue sky's Splashing water and salty air, so someone would definitely find this time capsule.

I took a couple of pictures to capture the moment and then pressed record. There was a timer set for 7 minutes after which it would shut down and save everything to its memory card.
This would be the beginning. A begging cry for someone else to hear. For some else to listen and then maybe after all of this, some one out there would feel better.

Because my dreams didn't bring anyone the tiniest bit of happiness.

"I'm Jeon Jungkook." I smiled at the camera "I'm about to fly."

"But before I take off, I would like to say a couple of words."

I took another breath of salty air, it was addictive this scent.

"Only fools fall for you, but you know you really love someone when it doesn't matter if they broke your heart. You don't hate them for doing so."

"But at the same time you can't just come into my life make me feel special and then leave."

"I'm too young to let the world break me. That's what everyone said as they took me apart bit by bit."

"You see, the problem is you made me happy in a way no one else could."

I smiled, showing a bit of sunshine behind me, my face was shadowed, my glistening eyes were not caught by the camera.

"But never mind that now. If you see this. Know that I'm safe."

I lowered the camera on the short tree stump, made sure it was focused and ran.

The salty air whispered into my ears as I fell for its divine lies.

When the water wrapped around me it wasn't warm, it wasn't soft and above all it wasn't welcoming. But I liked the bitter saltiness of it and the way the cuts and bruises stung as they met with salt. I could feel the blood in my veins slowly calm down, slow down it's rapid pace until my heart could no longer make it move.

I like this feeling, the awareness that there would be no more pain after this. Because no matter how hard I tried before, this was better than any painkillers. Better than Nepenthe. Better than love.

I let the water fill my lungs and soon I could no longer feel anything.

"Is this what you want be?"

"Maybe. Maybe I do."

It wasn't a maybe anymore, a certain answer replaced the uncertainties
When I said those words to him I did not expect anything. But saying you didn't expect anything doesn't mean you didn't expect something.

That was not the something I expected.

"I changed my mind."

"Oh really now?"

"I want to be hopelessly in love."

"That won't bring any happiness. That'll bring death."

I smiled for the last time before I disappeared from this world.

"Exactly. Hopelessly in love."

L'appel du Vide:
The uncontrollable desire to jump when standing at the edge of a cliff.