Imagines!

kurt

this one is for the wonderful and beautiful kurts_grungess love you girl!

also, it's in kurt's pov... so yeah
***
Fuck.

Fuck.

Here I was, in my fucking office about to pathetically shoot up (for what? the second time of the day?) as the love of my life is ODing in some random fucking hospital.

"I be right there," my whispers are almost inaudible, but before I know that the nurse had heard me, I slam the phone down and rush out of the room.

The little black box that was open and balancing on my knee fell to the ground, spilling all of it's contents onto the ground. For once in my life, I was faced with my problem head-on; that shit was killing me. And Sofia too (why did I let her get fucking near this shit?).

Fuck.

I leave what was basically my whole life on the ground to go to my car. The drive to the hospital was a blur, hell, I'm not sure if I even put on my seatbelt.

All I remember is the sound of the wet pavement as it flashed under my tires. Seattle has always been rainy, but in the last month, it was constant.

I truly didn't mind it; if fact, it allowed for Sofia and I to have more lazy days in the house, which was fun. But then again, that always end up with goddamn heroin, so was it really?

Before I knew it, I was in the buzzing and brightly illuminated hospital, making my way to the front desk.

The small girl who sat behind the tall wall of the desk, previously busy with some paperwork in front of her, looked up to him and her eyes widened, "are you...?"

"Where's Sofia L/N?" My long fingers began to tap crazily as she snapped to a computer screen, scrolling through files.

Looking back at me, the girl points to the left hallway, "she's in the second room down there-"

I cut her off by rushing down the hall, not paying attention to her warnings about the doctors. Reaching out to the door that had a small golden "2" placed in the center, I hesitated.

What'll happen? Will she even want to see me?

Shaking off the thoughts that terrified me, I opened the door and almost immediately shut it.

Sofia laid defensively in the bed, hooked up to wires that spiraled from machines that beeped and pumped. She was asleep, but her breathing seemed steady.

My heart broke. The girl was frail and borderline anemic, laying softly on the brink of sinking to death.

Because of me.

I fucking ruin everything.

Instead of leaving, I decide to step in, shuttling the door behind me and going over to Sofia. I picked up one of her cold hands that laid next to her and played with it in my own hands, desperately trying to warm them.

"I am so sorry, love. I am so sorry I wasn't there for you, that I got you into this bullshit," my throat burns as each word hoarsely leaves my lips. I couldn't stop myself as a couple tears streamed down my cheek.

"I didn't know you started using with other people babe, I thought it was just a little thing to help your migraines, I am so sorry I got you in so deep."

Nothing moved throughout the girl, except her slow breathing.

"C'mon babe, just move once-"

A sharp knock on the door cut me off, causing me to drop her hand and clean myself up quickly, "yeah come in."

A doctor (she seemed pretty young) stepped in and smiled sympathetically at me.

"Mr. Cobain- Kurt, right?- anyways, we were able to restart her heart but-"

"Her heart stopped?"

The doctor, who was now at the foot of bed, looked up from the clipboard and sighed, "yes, but it wasn't long. We were able to get her to a stable place, but she needs some strength before waking up."

I nodded, looking back at Sofia, grabbing her hand again. From the foot of the bed, I heard the doctor clear her throat, "I need to ask a couple questions. About the drugs."

Shamefully, I kept my head down and nodded again, rubbing the pale fingers that laid in my hand, "uh huh."

"Did you know that she was using?"

Sighing, I finally lift my head up and look at the doctor, who, judging by her face, already knew the answer, "yeah. I knew."

"Did you have any part in it? Were you trying to stop her?"

Again, her face clearly told me she knew the answer. I once again felt tears welling behind my eyes, and I looked at my feet, "no. I'm kind of the reason why she started using."

I couldn't stop the tears of shame and guilt from pour down my face, but I stayed silently looking to the ground as I felt the doctor watch me.

I am a horrible fucking person.

"No you're not, you are just addicted."

I look up quickly to the women, who was now sitting on the chair on the other side of Sofia's bed, and feel a blush appear behind my tears, "I didn't mean to say that out loud."

She smiled slightly, "I know. But you should probably get some help. For her sake."

We both look at Sofia, still beeping away, and I nod. Playing with her hand some more, I nod again, mostly to get it into my head.

I need to get help.

I'm going to get help.

For Sofia.

***
oh god i hope that is good!!! i tried, and if it's not what you were thinking i can rewrite it if you want!!

love you girl!!!