Imagines!

kurt • sofia's part two

It had been a couple months (almost a year, really) since Sofia ODed, and she was doing much better. She was getting stronger, gained some more tasteful weight (she had been so frail and small, it was like holding a starving child), and she seemed to be going good in rehab.

And then there was me. Rehab had never been my thing, and for some fucking reason, it still wasn't.

Each night as I laid alone in the stuffy sheets, my whole body aching from my stomach pains, i told myself 'this is for Sofia- she at least deserves a healthy you.'

But for some goddamn reason, I itched to leave. To hide myself in the darkness, shield myself from the hurt eyes of the people I love. I failed Sofia majorly once, and god knows how many times I've failed Frances.

Frances.

God how I love that little bean.

Courtney, despite her own addiction, has been really great about everything, and even brought Frances to see me and Sofia when we all visited.

It was weird when Sofia and I first started going out. Courtney and I were on the tail-end of our divorce and I met the black haired beauty at a coffee shop. One thing led to another, and we began to hang out more. There was something about her laugh and how her smile would bright up an entire building that made it seem criminal not to pick up the phone and call her.

Just the way she would giggle at my stupid joke or point out the smallest beautiful details in everything melts my heart.

So I was fucking scared when she would meet Courtney.

Courtney, she... she's a piece of work, There is a part of me that will always love the blonde haired, crazy eyed woman, but we were extremely toxic.

Little did I know I would just drag down the other person I love the most.

I always thought it was both Courtney's and I's fault for our toxicity, but after getting Sofia- the woman I loved more than anything, the woman who looked at my child of another mother and accepted her as her own, the woman who overlooked my flaws and would kiss them- addicted to the most horrible substance for your body, I've realized it was all my fault.

Anyways, when they first met it was surprising. They acted like old friends, hugging and chatting away as they both played with Frances. I couldn't really believe it.

I would usually expect Courtney to be distant, jealous even, like how she would treat every other person she would meet when we were together.

But they soon became friends.

And it was nice.

Since Sofia's rehab was a couple miles away from mine (the doctors said that we shouldn't be in the same center, for some reason), so she would be driven to mine and so would Frances.

There, the four of us would sit around a table and talk. The bean would be on one of our laps (usually mine or Sofia's), bouncing and laughing as we went away on our conversation.

I always felt distant from them though, like the elephant in the room. The afterthought- the mistake.

So I would sit quietly, hold on to the baby's fat little hand, smile at the appropriate times.

I just want everyone to be happy.

And maybe that's without me.

I got the plan a couple days ago, and it seemed full-proof. A plan that will make everything better for everyone.